Wow!!! It has been sooooo friggin' long. I have so much to tell.

Where should I begin? Well sadly, I did not meet my weight loss goal for Feb. Let me refresh your memory...the goal was to be down to my goal weight of 175lbs by the time that I attended my annual doctor's appt. on 2/19. The week prior I was at 178lbs. I didn't know if I'd be able to loose the other 3 lbs in just a week, but I felt good that I had made some progress. However, an enjoyable weekend in Las Vegas was my undoing. Can you say made to order Ham and Cheese omelets and plenty 'o liquor?

By the time that Monday rolled around, the scale read a solid 183lbs. Now my regular scale at the read my same 180lbs on Friday, so I'm not sure which is correct. Right now, I'm just going to call it a break even saying that there has been no gain or loss since Christmas. How do I feel about that? Well I don't know. I guess that I'm glad that there isn't any gain, but saddened that I've let two whole months slip away w/o any progress do to general lack of commitment. Ok, that's that. I will try to do better, but I don't have my usual positive spin to put on things. I just have to try harder and commit.

Now...lets talk about body image. I have been trying to understand why I like yoga so much, in spite of the fact I am sooooo bad at it. I am not very flexible. I am not very strong, and I am generally the worse person in the class. Yet I keeping going back, and leaving every session feeling refreshed and fulfilled. However, a couple of weeks ago it hit me. I came into the gym early to get some time in on the elliptical machine. As I was doing my thing, I glanced in the mirror and saw this large, unsexy blob bouncing up and down on the machine. I was saddened, and I felt that I couldn't really see any of my progress from the past several months. Yet, when I got into the yoga class and began going through several of the moves, then I found that I felt quite graceful and elegant. My entire perception of myself was changed. I didn't feel chubby or awkward at all. When I looked in the mirror I was actually pleased and proud of what I saw looking back at me. Clearly I was looking at the same person. Nothing about me had really changed...only what I thought of myself.

Just imagine...while accurate self-awareness is valuable...how different would we feel about ourselves on a day to day basis if we could capture and keep that same pride that I had in myself? I guess I never really placed much value in personal body image. Sure it is something that you always hear about, but I never focused on it very much. How much would our days be different if we could truly love and celebrate the 'skin we're in'. Therefore I recommend that we all stop and take time for one of the cheesiest, yet most commonly recommended rituals around. Whenever you look at yourself in the mirror identify at least one thing that you like about yourself. Don't focus on the belly pudge or the chunky thighs or the cellulite. Instead smile and appreciate the slender neck and shoulders, the firm calves, or the perky boobs. Focus on these things as you go throughout your day, as you enter a room, as you take on the world. I think that it will make a difference.

Ok, in keeping with the positive body image here are a few tips to keep your self-esteem high. As it turns out, a negative body image can impact your sex life. I don't think that any of us want that. Taken from ivillage.com (http://diet.ivillage.com/motivate/mimage/0,,Jessica%20Weiner_b77pvv7g,00.html)

1. Remember that when you love yourself you'll attract more love into your life. Sound simple? That's because it is.

2. You have to make peace with your body. If you don't love it, no one else will.

3. Monitor the use of the "Language of Fat," or any form of body bashing, in your relationships. Make sure it isn't impeding your intimacy and connection.

4. Don't blame your love troubles on your curves — if there are problems in your relationship, it most likely isn't because of your size.

5. Replenish and renew! By treating yourself with more loving kindness, you'll foster a connection that helps you get closer to sensuality and intimacy.

6. Get massages, and give each other massages. Don't underestimate the power of touch.

7. Stay focused on the moment and not what you think you look like. Be present with your lover — it'll enhance the entire experience.

8. Your partner has body insecurities too. Use your love and affection to heal and accept each other's body as is.

9. Build intimacy by focusing on hugging, whispering and sharing intimate thoughts. You are more than your body!

10. Enjoy the pleasure of being loved. There's no bigger turn-on than embracing your sexuality.

That's all for now folks. I'll check back in next week to let you know how I am doing as well as to give you an overview of my next weight loss challenge.