So I have been thinking lately (rare, I know)...Am I the best 'me' that I can be? Am I even the 'me' that I want to be? I don't know about you, but I have a pretty clear image of who I imagine myself to be in 5 - 10 yrs. However, that person just seems so different from the me of today. Not completely different, but different non-the-less.
I don't know if I am just emotional today or what, but as I headed off to work the following mantra was playing in my mind "You're a mess...an absolute disaster." Now this is definitely not the type of positive thinking that I encourage, and I had to pause, count my blessing, and pray that I keep those things at the forefront of my mind. However, I do still believe in honest reflection and self-improvement. Here are the things that had me down:
- My skin just WON'T stop breaking out no matter what I do.
- Sometimes I dress super fly and look great, but other times I feel as though I just look frumpy and far from high end.
- I am easily annoyed and often moody (though I'm getting better).
- My relationship w/family is not what I want it to be (partially due to their actions, but also partially due to the above bullet).
- I'm a huge procrastinator (w/things that are required like paying bills or tasks at work).
- My cat won't use the litter box.
- I'm not the house keeper nor the cook that I'd like to be.
- I know how to eat right, but I'm still compelled to pig out on non-sense if the right excuse presents itself.
- And others that I just don't feel inclined to put out on the net.
Overall, I see things that I can improve upon and others that are just normal human flaws. Sometimes I get depressed b/c I think on the things that I have been trying to change for years, but haven't been successful. I don't know if I'm just not trying hard enough, not trying the right things, or if they are just a part of my personality that I need to learn to accept.
Meh, I don't want to bring everyone down, but I just wanted to express that things aren't all sunshine and roses. Even on the heels of great success I still have doubts and worries. I am trying my best to focus on the here and now...being thankful for who and what I am today. However, a little part of me feels pulled to work towards being a better me tomorrow.
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A journal of my never-ending journey towards a healthy, happy, and full-filled lifestyle.
Live Your Best Life!
Welcome! This is a place dedicated to thriving and living your best life (as Oprah would say). I began this blog to chronicle my journey towards a fitter and healthier Me. As I have met those goals, the blog has evolved into an on-going journey to both better and honor myself. I welcome you to read, comment, and share your own stories of success. I hope that my lessons (both the hard and the easy ones) will help you in some way. Enjoy!
3 comments:
As soon as I have some time, I'm going to respond to this thoroughly...
Ok, I'm back. Here's the thing. God made us perfect "humans." He did not make us perfect "Gods." Your laundry list of things that you'd like to do better may have different line items, but trust that everyone's laundry list is just as long.
It doesn't mean you're a failure. It doesn't mean you're not exactly where you're supposed to be. It actually means you're a perfect human being (complete with flaws and inconsistencies) exactly the way God intended. (Give or take some things God probably wants for you that haven't actualized yet.)
Whenever you get into a funk like the one you were in when you wrote this note (and don't trip off my verbiage, you know it was a funky mood). Anyway, whenver you're in that mood just say to yourself:
Self, I'm am not God, I am not A god. I'm human. My imperfections are what makes me me and I'm working towards my goals. I'm not perfect, but I'm pretty damn good.
On a semi-related note, think back to how you were unhappy with something and how drastically you changed that thing for the better. Think about how difficult your ultimate goal seemed at first and where you are right now. This entire blog has been about you sticking to a goal that you have and achieving it. You are an awesome goal-achieving person and who cares if your pancakes ain't fluffy enough or your house isn't ran by Mrs. Pine Sol and Mr. Clean. So what! You rock ANYway!
And that's that piece!
Thanks girl. You are an Awesome friend! Yeah, that was a funky day. I'm better now, and working on the things that I have the power to work on (I made a Rachel Ray dish on Sunday!). Otherwise, I'm just trying to count my blessings and keep it moving.
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