Apparently today was the official 1 week update. I had no idea, but I was prepared for a weigh in anyway. I weighed myself at home before I got dressed, and my scale said 164.5. Then I weighed in at work and came in at 166. So my official 1st month weigh in is 166lbs (a 12 lb loss and 7% drop). I have to keep in mind that there seems to be a 1.5 pound difference btwn the two scales (plus clothes). I'm happy with it. I look great, and I've been maintaining a healthy lifestyle so I'm pleased with my progress. I think I'm still 'unofficially' in the lead, but its all relative...ppl are weighing in on different scales, and some not at all.

Anywho...In a bit it'll be time to start thinking about new clothes...yay, my fav part of losing weight. My slacks are starting to get baggy again, so I'll need to update the wardrobe. I'm definitely going to wait until this competition is over and I know what my final size is going to be. Hopefully that'll be my permanent size, and I can stay in all my fab clothes.

I'm also excited about bikini season. Of course, I've been seeing myself in a swimsuit a lot over the past month, and I am really pleased with the look. I actually feel really comfortable with my hips and stomach...even after I eat. Last night I looked at myself b4 I went to bed...my heaviest moment of the day...and I thought everything was looking awesome. I had curves, but good curves. I felt that my tiny belly poof and hips/thighs were slamming and sexy...and not in a classical art/nude painting type of way (you know the paintings that i'm talking about...plump, but not quite fat, white chick on a chaise lounge). Its a good place to be, and I can't wait to show it off.

On Monday I weighed in at 165.5. I'm not sure what the scale will say tomorrow morning. I am hoping for a solid 165, but I'm not really confident. I overate yesterday. I'm not sure how far over my calories I was, but I'm pretty sure it was over. The day went as follows:

Breakfast (7 am)
- yogurt
- breakfast bar

Lunch (10 am - the plan was to not eat again until 4)
- Banana
- 2 slices of wheat toast
- yogurt

Snack (1pm - my plan failed)
- 1 cup of fat-free frozen yogurt
- small latte w/skim milk

Pre-Happy Hour Snack (5pm)
- Banana

Happy Hour Snacks (7 pm)
- 1 cup of raw broccoli/carrots/cauliflower
- dip (2 tablespoons)
- 2 tortilla chips

Dinner (9 pm)
- Grilled Tilapia
- Spinach & Asparagus
- Herb rice
- Roll

I think that I might feel good about my day if it were not for the pre-happy hour and happy hour bit. My major downfall is that the majority of my meals (primarily lunch) were pretty much snacks. Anytime that I don't have a real meal to eat, then I end up filling hungry again really quickly. Ugh - if I wasn't on this diet, then I wouldn't really be concerned, but since I'm 'counting calories' then yesterday wasn't a win.

I plan to swim for a full hour tomorrow and Saturday and add in an extra day of yoga (on Friday) to off-set the difference. Man I can't wait for 3/31.

I read an article yesterday called 'Your Happy Weight'. Essentially its a healthy weight that is easy for you to maintain with normal diet and exercise. I feel like I'm at my happy weight right now...about 165lbs. I love the way that I look...I'm enjoying my 5 workouts per week (and I think that I could even maintain my weight on 4/week), and I'd like to eat 'normally' (healthy, w/no more than 2 splurges per month and about 1600 calories/day). The article had me calculate my 'happy weight', which was about 155lbs. That would be an add'l 10lb loss, but I don't know if I really could comfortably maintain that. Plus I don't know if I'd like the way that I'd look...I'm not trying to give up ALL the junk in the trunk. Anyway, I'm going to forge ahead w/the competition, but after it is over, then I'm going to settle into a routine that works for me (working out 4-5 times/week, eating about 1600 cal/day, splurging every now and again once or twice/month). Wherever that takes me to weight wise is going to be my happy weight, and I'm just going to be satisfied to stay there and maintain.

Honestly, I see why nutritionists encourage you to avoid short term (extreme) diets and allow yourself indulgences from time to time. Diets like the one that I am on make you A. want to pig out and binge (I stood for 5 mins yesterday staring at a case of baked goods thinking "If I wasn't on this stupid diet, then I would buy that brownie, and that pumpkin muffin, and the cinnamon roll, and the sticky bun, and I would eat it ALL!"), and B. focus more on the scale and the calorie count than your overall appearance.

Before I was 'dieting' I never wanted to eat EVERYTHING in sight. I saw things here and there that I wanted, and for the most part I could ignore or brush off all of those cravings. Sure I wanted a bacon cheese burger, but I could easily convince myself to eat a turkey burger or chicken sandwich. I might allow myself something more 'risque' on a occasion (like a bar-b-que chicken sandwich), but that was about it. Right now, if this diet ended today, I feel like I would eat 1 of every food that I love, but normally don't eat even when I'm not dieting. I'm like a binge waiting to happen...can you imagine what I would be like if I was trying to do this long term? I would never make it.

Also, I LOVE the way that I look right now. I am so pleased with my body, but b/c I am so focused on wining, then I am actually disappointed when the scale says 166 instead of 165 or when I eat ALL of a healthy meal (like the grilled fish and veggies that I had yesterday). Its a shame. I see how ppl get eating disorders and what not...you focus on the wrong thing for too long, and you'll never be satisfied. Enough is never enough.

Anywhoo...that was a rant, but its some of what has been on my mind these last few days. I'm just going to try to stay strong and persevere. I DO plan to allow myself a good day of eating on the 31st. My plan is to eat what I want on the 31st and then go back to normal healthy eating and living on 4/1. I'm using my desire to stay super sexy for my vacation on 4/13 as my incentive to not let my '1 Day of treats' spill over into 'unlimited days of treats'. After that I'm just going to focus on the lifestyle that works for me and the HAPPY WEIGHT!

Ok...more updates. I weighed myself this morning and came in at 166.5lbs, so I reported a weight of 167lbs again this week. How do I feel about that?...ummm, I don't know. I mean, I didn't really want to continue losing 2 lbs a week b/c at that rate, I would shrink away to nothing. However, I did want to lose about a pound a week to drop about 10 more lbs total over the remainder of the competition. I'm not sure if I put on muscle or if I have been eating the same low-cal/low-fat diet, but higher in carbs. When I weighed myself on Monday I was 165.5, so I expected to be a solid 165 by Friday for another 2lb drop this week. However, 'twas not the case. I'm going to give it another week to see if this remains the same, and I'll let you know what's the result.

Update - I weighed myself at home and came in at 170.5lbs. YAY! Ok, you may not think that's a yay, but I do b/c it means that the readings that I've been getting on my home scale are pretty accurate. I'm not sure if I'm heavier b/c I've packed on muscle, or simply b/c I'm weighing in sooo late in the day. However, I will weigh myself 1st thing tomorrow morning to see if there is a difference. Also next, Thursday I will weigh in at home b4 I go to work as well as at work before I eat or drink. That'll further help me to determine if there is any difference in the scales and then to later account for it.

I'm not happy today guys. I don't know what the problem is, either. I'm just feeling really hungry and tired and stressed and not happy. I'm trying not to think about how many more weeks of this torture I have left...but its really hard to take it one day at a time. Its much harder than normal weight loss b/c there are NO splurges allowed. I'm afraid that if I do splurge, then I'll lose my lead...PLUS I already see a potential splurge/slip up coming in the future. Sigh - I can't describe it. I'm just tired of being hungry and tired all the time.

Also I weighed in at the office today (mind you later in the day, so after I had been eating and drinking), and I came in at 171 lbs. WTF! To see that on top of everything...I wanted to cry. I am going to go home and weigh myself on my home scale to see if there is a difference btwn my home scale and the scale at work. *sigh* I guess I'll plan to start weighing in at work on a weekly basis just to get a baseline for where I really am in the big scheme of things. However, it just makes me so frustrated. I have been sooooo committed, and now I actually want to win (before I didn't care, and now I do). Ugh! The last time that I weighed myself mid-day (on my home scale) I was about 3 lbs heavier than I was the following morning, so applying that same logic here...my 'work weight' could really be 168lbs, which would be a 10 lb lost in 3 weeks (nothing to be ashamed of) and about on par with what I thought I had lost (lower 170s home weight to current lowe 160's home weight). I don't know, I'm just trying to make sense of it all.

Anywho...that's today.

**singing** I know what I'm going to do with my wiiiiinings!!!!!


Can you say spa day? I sure as hell can. I have never had a real (scheduled at a spa, lie down naked on the table) massage. Well, when I win, then I sure plan to get one. My body has been so sore from the increased exercise that I can't think of anything more fitting than a celebratory massage. Also, I plan to get a nice manicure and pedicure. The decent salon/spas near to me charge about $70 for a mani/pedi, so I usually forgo them for either a $30 combo at the local nail shop or something that I can do myself. However, since this competition will be over in April, just b4 I go on vacation, then I will definitely be getting a very nice professional, relaxing, spa manicure/pedicure. I can't wait!!!!!!!

I am so committed to winning that I actually worked out twice today. For those of you who don't know, this is HUGE for me. I swam this morning, and then learned that the catfish that I defrosted for dinner has about 700 calories for a medium fillet and over 100 for a large fillet. WHAT! Who knew that grilled fish could be so fattening? My conscience suggested that I workout again (workout dvd or something) to offset the extra calories. I was really reluctant to do it, but I checked out yogatoday.com, and the episode looked pretty interesting. Sooooo...I did an extra hour of yoga. It felt great! My sore muscles felt soooo stretched, relaxed, and relieved. Also I cut my large piece of fish in half, so that I can cut my calories down to 500 calories. Not bad, huh?

The competition is suuuuuper stiff. I weighed in this morning at 167lbs...YAY! Well actually I weighed in at 166.5lbs, but I allowed myself the extra .5lbs to account for clothes. I am so pleased with my progress. According to our record keeper, I am once again in the lead. However, another competitor is close on my heals. In fact, he was in the lead until I reported this week's weight. If I had not lost any pounds, then he would have taken the lead.

My top competitor is using the South Beach Diet method, which is giving him pretty good results. If you aren't familiar with the diet, then a general understanding of the diet is the following. Dieters are teaching themselves how to eat healthy again. They spend the 1st two weeks on a pretty restrictive diet, no "bread, rice, potatoes, pasta, baked goods, or fruit". After two weeks the dieters re-introduce these foods back into their diet in a healthy way (good carbs and fat rather than bad carbs and fat) and sustain this diet until they reach their goal weight. Ultimately the dieter should be able to maintain their healthy weight b/c they have learned the right way to eat for life.

Here is my thinking on this entire competition, but esp. on this particular competitor. #1 I am really already in the '2nd phase of the South Beach Diet', meaning that I am at a point where I am eating healthy foods in appropriate proportions. I'm not really 'learning' how to eat right b/c that is what I have spent the last year and a half doing. Now I am just practicing what I know. #2 Consistency is the key!!!! My major assumption is that the majority of the other competitors are not going to eat right and exercise consistently throughout the 12 weeks. Mr. South Beach may be on his grind today, but w/a pregnant wife and a diet that eventually allows him to eat sweets and drink alcohol, I am betting that he's gonna start slippin' on his pimpin'. That is where I plan to beat out he and the rest. If I can just motivate myself to stick to my 1400 calories a day and my 3 cardio and 2 strength workouts a week, then I believe that I can win.

I know that it is going to be tough...heck it already is, but I just have to stay focused on the money...ummm I mean my new healthier, sleeker body. Who the heck am I kidding, we're all in it for the cash :-) Anyway, I purchased my scale yesterday. It is pretty cool...it will remember and calculate weight, body fat % and % of water for up to 4 ppl. I plan to weigh myself on Monday and Thursday, so that I can closely monitor and track my progress.

Ok, before I go, I also have to just talk a little about the benefits of journaling what you eat. I used to never do this b/c I always hear ppl say "Well it will help make you aware of your eating patterns and help you to identify where you are falling short of your diet." I would think to myself, I can remember everything that I ate today, so I don't need to write it down to do that. However, the major benefit that it has had for me, is that you can SEE how many calories (grams of fat, cholesterol, sodium, etc) that you are taking in every day. I am waaaay less likely to eat a little Hershey Kiss when I know that I'll have to go back and add in those calories. Also, sometimes we just plain underestimate how many calories are in some of our favorite healthy foods. Plus, if I've had dinner but still would like a snack or something, then I can look at how much I've already eaten, and determine if there is room in my diet. Some nights I'm already at 1400 calories, so no after dinner snack for me. However, if I am actually around 1200, then I feel free to grab an orange or a 100 calorie pack. It really is awesome, and I'm going to keep using this technique in the future.

I just want to say that whomever said that exercising gives you a burst of energy has no idea what they are talking about. Well, they at least do not know me. I am as tired as tired can be right now, and I spend my days craving my bed (and my next meal). I hope that my body adjusts to the new schedule soon.

Well...so far I am leading the pack in the Biggest Loser. I'll post the unofficial results on a weekly basis, so that you can see how I compare to the other competitors (this week's should be coming out sometime this afternoon).

I am feeling sooooooo much pressure. Whew...you have no idea. This is unlike my previous weight loss b/c I really feel pressured to show progress on a weekly basis. The other competitors are really looking at me to see if my loss this week is sustainable, or just a one time fluke. I really really want the loss to be sustainable.

I am doing what I know how to do best...cutting my calories and exercising. I have been diligent about tracking my food intake daily on fitday.com. My goal is to keep my calorie intake around 1400 per day. I heard that your body naturally burns about 1500-2000 calories per day. I am not sure exactly what my body is burning on a daily basis, but 1400 seems to make sense to me. As it is, 1400 calories is usually about 3 very light/healthy meals a day and 1 or 2 100 calorie snacks. Not much food at all, so I have a hard time imagining how to cut it down to less than that. If I do feel that I need to get it lower, then I suppose that I could make meal replacement smoothies on the weekend and eat meal replacement bars during the week, but I am hoping that it doesn't come down to that. I really hope that I can sustain about a 1 pound loss per week. This would get me down to 158lbs in the next 11 weeks. Overall that would be a 21 lb loss, which would be 12% of my total body weight. Although some of my competitors are aiming for 15 and 16% losses, I think that this would be enough to really give them a run for their money.

I have some fears, though. #1 I am worried about cutting my calories too low, and causing my metabolism to slow down. I need for it to stay nice and high, so that it will burn as many calories as possible even when I am not working out. #2 I am worried about hitting a plateau in my workouts. Swimming is new to me, and while its a great workout, it actually isn't as exhausting to me as running or getting on the elliptical. I guess I am fearful that I will find that I'm not doing enough. #3 The final weigh in will be on a different scale than my incremental weigh ins. It is the same scale that we did our initial weigh in on, but I don't want to get up to the end and weigh in a couple of pounds heavier than what I have been showing throughout the past weeks.

I do have a plan to address some of my above fears. I discussed them with my conscience, and he had some great advice. He recommended that I weigh myself twice a week (probably on my Thursday and Sunday trips to the gym). This will allow me to see if the scale is moving and to adjust my diet and exercise right away if I am becoming stagnant. Since I am no dietitian or personal trainer, then I don't have a scientific formula for weight loss. All that I can do is continue to do what I know makes sense (eat right and exercise) and turn up the volume if I find that I am not getting the results that I need.

I want to re-emphasize that this competition is not the best example of a lifestyle change that I want to be giving. By that I mean, I have a very lofty goal and a very limited time range. I am being more extreme than usual and adopting habits that I know I cannot maintain (for instance the meal replacements). I am of course keeping my health foremost, but in the long run this is NOT the way that I want to live. Long term I want to keep exercising 4 (possibly 5, if I get adjusted to it) times a week and eating meals that I know are light and healthy (prob about 1600-1700 calories a day). Simply maintaining a healthy lifestyle is my long term goal, NOT LOSING WEIGHT!

Ok, off soapbox. My last fear is a little tricky. There really isn't much that I can do about the scale for the final weigh in. I can try to take some of my incremental (unofficial) weigh ins on that scale, which is located at my client. However, I think that I am going to bite the bullet and purchase a digital scale. I think that this will give me a more accurate and consistent reading than I am getting on the manual scale at the gym. I really really dislike spending money on something that I am getting for free, but I want to make sure that the readings that I am getting on a weekly basis are as true as possible. Now, if the scale at the client's gym is just off, then there is nothing that I can do about that. I'll have to give this thing my best, and if I'm lucky, then I will exceed my goals and win by a margin!

**singing ** "whoo hooo.....whoo hooo..."

You probably can't hear the song that I am thinking of in my head, but trust me it is appropriate. I got weighed at the doctor today...169lbs!!!!!!!!! So since my starting weight was 179, than that's a 6% loss in weight. Whoo Hooo!!!!

Now there has been some talk on the team about making weight adjustments. Only half of the ppl on the team took advantage of the option to load up on water prior to the weigh in...obviously giving us a heavier weight by several pounds. Some feel that this is an unfair advantage, which I somewhat agree with. Honestly, I didn't think that the water would give me anymore than a pound or two extra weight. However, apparently it had a significant impact. If I would have known that I would weigh in 8+ pounds heavier than my true weight, then I would have thought twice before chugging all the beverages. I'm not sure what we're going to do. Some ppl are saying that we should reduce the water drinkers' initial weight by a pound or two. I'm kind of for this and kind of against it. On the one hand, there were no rules written in to prevent this, so is it my fault that someone else didn't work it to their advantage? On the other hand, this is a friendly competition, which is not intended to be played unfairly. We'll see what the sentiment is after the this week's results are reported.

Anyway, I'm just going to keep 'making it do what it do, baby'. I've been tracking my calories and activities on www.fitday.com. I have also made working out mandatory, and trust me there were some days when I didn't want to do it. The schedule is swimming 3x/week and yoga 2x/week. As long as that keeps yielding results, then I'll stick with it. Otherwise, I'll make some adjustments.

Ciao!

Why on earth would folks feel inclided to have a gang of pizzas ordered to the office today? I am over here eating my noodle soup just mad at the world.

Ok, so I'm on the Biggest Loser 'Get it right, Get it tight' diet and workout plan, and so far it is going well. It's an adjustment b/c you have to once again get used to not really getting full at each meal. I am pretty much eating until I m no longer hungry and stopping there. Its cool though. If I'm not thinking about food, then for the most part I am not hungry. However, when I want to eat (I'm having cravings so food is on my mind), then it is just a torturous countdown to the next mealtime.

I did all of my grocery shopping yesterday, which was exhausting. However, I think I did a pretty good job of picking a sufficient amount of healthy breakfast, lunch and dinner foods. I've got some chicken breast thawing out now, so I'll make dinner, which should last me for tomorrow as well. I kinda feel victim to the savers deals at the store. I'm going through the aisles like "5 packets of frozen spinach for only $6...of course I want that. In fact, I'll take 10." What can I say? I'm a sucker for a deal. Hopefully, I won't end up wasting anything.

I also hit the gym, both yesterday and today. I swam for about 45 mins each time, and I actually forgot to count how many laps I was doing. I think I do about 10-14 laps (down and back) in a 45 minute period, but I'm not sure. I'll have to count next time. Tomorrow and Wednesday are yoga days, and then it is back to swimming on Thursday. Also I am going to the doctor on Friday morning, and I am sure that she is going to want to weigh me. I'll let you know what is the outcome.

Holy Smokes, Batman!!!!!!

The weigh in went down...

Now let me preface my starting weight w/the following:

**Warning TMI**
1. I haven't gone to the bathroom all day as I have been trying to stock up on water/liquid, so we've got (2-24oz bottles of water, 1-16oz cup of tea, and 1-8oz cup of chocolatte)
2. Its 'that time of the month' so I'm doing a bit more w/water than usual
3. I have to go #2.

Now, that being said, the starting weight was 178.8. WTF!!!! It really really really had better be due to the factors noted above b/c I weighed myself right before Christmas, and I was my standard 170-171lbs. PLUS all of my clothes fit the same. There is no tightness anywhere.

Anyway, I'm starting my program on Saturday as planned, and I will weigh myself again in a week. We'll see what we turn up.

**singing** "Meet me in the gym...it's going down!"

The Biggest Loser competition is afoot! I am soooooooo excited. Here's the deal:

- $100 buy in
- 8 competitors
- 12 weeks
- Winner (person who loses the greatest # 0f pounds) takes 75%; other 25% goes to the person who has gained back the least amount of weight 4 wks later

I am in it to win it folks. Here's my plan/schedule:

Yoga: Monday & Wednesday
Swimming: Saturday & Thursday
Weights: Sunday

Now...I might switch up the workout schedule a bit if I find that I am not getting enough cardio in. I might substitute swimming in on Sunday as well, since I am doing strengthening exercises on Monday & Wednesday. We'll see, but as I think about it now...I'm leaning more towards cardio 3 times a week.

Ok the other BIG point is food (of course). I am going to the grocery store this weekend, and it is going to be a serious haul. I cannot afford to eat any junk food due to cravings, so I will need to have ample healthy meals and snacks. Essentially I need to really commit to packing breakfast and lunch each day and cooking dinner each night. Whew this is gonna be a lot of work. I think that I'll be alright if I stick w/my few staples:

Breakfast - oatmeal/fruit/yogurt/applesauce
Lunch - salad/soup/frozen meal w/in appropriate calorie range/healthy dinner left-overs
Dinner - grilled/baked chicken or fish w/steamed veggies or all veggie plate w/good carbs (brown rice/black beans/etc)
Snacks - fruit/100 calorie packs
Beverages - Lots of water

Now I am going to deviate from my standard philosophy a little bit. Normally, I don't believe in cutting any one item from my diet completely. However, in this case I am going to have to let go of alcohol, soda (which was getting cut anyway), sugary sweets and red meat. It really isn't what I prefer to do, but I do think that it is critical to the competition. This will have to be 3 months of zero splurges or cheats.

So what am I really hoping to get out of this? Well I am primarily hoping to get back into the same mindset that I was in 6 months ago. I want to get back to where making healthy choices and working out are the norm, rather than "me on a good day". I am not really expecting to win the pot (not for lack of determination, but rather sheer lack of available pounds to lose). However, I definitely want to provide some stiff competition for the rest of the folks. Plus, if I do win, then I can use the money to furnish my new wardrobe b/c I will definitely need it.

The formal weigh in is this afternoon. I will let you know the results, but I am expecting to come in at my usual 170-172. If the fruits of my labors pay off, then I think that I could lose btwn 15 and 20 lbs. However, no matter what...if I give it a good effort, stay disciplined and truly do my best, then I'll be happy. The competition kicks off this Saturday am w/my 1st trip to the gym in more than a week. Wish me luck!