On Monday I weighed in at 165.5. I'm not sure what the scale will say tomorrow morning. I am hoping for a solid 165, but I'm not really confident. I overate yesterday. I'm not sure how far over my calories I was, but I'm pretty sure it was over. The day went as follows:

Breakfast (7 am)
- yogurt
- breakfast bar

Lunch (10 am - the plan was to not eat again until 4)
- Banana
- 2 slices of wheat toast
- yogurt

Snack (1pm - my plan failed)
- 1 cup of fat-free frozen yogurt
- small latte w/skim milk

Pre-Happy Hour Snack (5pm)
- Banana

Happy Hour Snacks (7 pm)
- 1 cup of raw broccoli/carrots/cauliflower
- dip (2 tablespoons)
- 2 tortilla chips

Dinner (9 pm)
- Grilled Tilapia
- Spinach & Asparagus
- Herb rice
- Roll

I think that I might feel good about my day if it were not for the pre-happy hour and happy hour bit. My major downfall is that the majority of my meals (primarily lunch) were pretty much snacks. Anytime that I don't have a real meal to eat, then I end up filling hungry again really quickly. Ugh - if I wasn't on this diet, then I wouldn't really be concerned, but since I'm 'counting calories' then yesterday wasn't a win.

I plan to swim for a full hour tomorrow and Saturday and add in an extra day of yoga (on Friday) to off-set the difference. Man I can't wait for 3/31.

I read an article yesterday called 'Your Happy Weight'. Essentially its a healthy weight that is easy for you to maintain with normal diet and exercise. I feel like I'm at my happy weight right now...about 165lbs. I love the way that I look...I'm enjoying my 5 workouts per week (and I think that I could even maintain my weight on 4/week), and I'd like to eat 'normally' (healthy, w/no more than 2 splurges per month and about 1600 calories/day). The article had me calculate my 'happy weight', which was about 155lbs. That would be an add'l 10lb loss, but I don't know if I really could comfortably maintain that. Plus I don't know if I'd like the way that I'd look...I'm not trying to give up ALL the junk in the trunk. Anyway, I'm going to forge ahead w/the competition, but after it is over, then I'm going to settle into a routine that works for me (working out 4-5 times/week, eating about 1600 cal/day, splurging every now and again once or twice/month). Wherever that takes me to weight wise is going to be my happy weight, and I'm just going to be satisfied to stay there and maintain.

Honestly, I see why nutritionists encourage you to avoid short term (extreme) diets and allow yourself indulgences from time to time. Diets like the one that I am on make you A. want to pig out and binge (I stood for 5 mins yesterday staring at a case of baked goods thinking "If I wasn't on this stupid diet, then I would buy that brownie, and that pumpkin muffin, and the cinnamon roll, and the sticky bun, and I would eat it ALL!"), and B. focus more on the scale and the calorie count than your overall appearance.

Before I was 'dieting' I never wanted to eat EVERYTHING in sight. I saw things here and there that I wanted, and for the most part I could ignore or brush off all of those cravings. Sure I wanted a bacon cheese burger, but I could easily convince myself to eat a turkey burger or chicken sandwich. I might allow myself something more 'risque' on a occasion (like a bar-b-que chicken sandwich), but that was about it. Right now, if this diet ended today, I feel like I would eat 1 of every food that I love, but normally don't eat even when I'm not dieting. I'm like a binge waiting to happen...can you imagine what I would be like if I was trying to do this long term? I would never make it.

Also, I LOVE the way that I look right now. I am so pleased with my body, but b/c I am so focused on wining, then I am actually disappointed when the scale says 166 instead of 165 or when I eat ALL of a healthy meal (like the grilled fish and veggies that I had yesterday). Its a shame. I see how ppl get eating disorders and what not...you focus on the wrong thing for too long, and you'll never be satisfied. Enough is never enough.

Anywhoo...that was a rant, but its some of what has been on my mind these last few days. I'm just going to try to stay strong and persevere. I DO plan to allow myself a good day of eating on the 31st. My plan is to eat what I want on the 31st and then go back to normal healthy eating and living on 4/1. I'm using my desire to stay super sexy for my vacation on 4/13 as my incentive to not let my '1 Day of treats' spill over into 'unlimited days of treats'. After that I'm just going to focus on the lifestyle that works for me and the HAPPY WEIGHT!