Self-esteem...what is it, and how do you get it?

This is a question being discussed on a message board that I regularly visit. You know, it is honestly something that I have never really given much thought to in the past. I mean, I have always just assumed that I am full of self-esteem. Why wouldn't I be? I have a great job and family/friends around me that support me. I'm in good shape, and can certainly turn some heads. Plus I'm smart, and I have always done well in all of my endeavors.

However, during the discussion I began to wonder if I think my self-esteem is high b/c it has never been tested before. Like, would I really feel so good about myself if things weren't going my way. I doubt it, but at the same time...certainly things like supportive friends and family are what help to build confidence and give you self-esteem. They are inter-related.

Anywho, here are some of the things that I do to keep my self-esteem high even during low-points in life.

1. Count my blessings. Even when something goes wrong, there are still a ton of things going right at any given moment. Thank God I haven't taken any serious hits (like homelessness, drug abuse, or unexpected loss of a loved one), so its pretty easy to see the bright side of life. I try to focus on my health and safety, and that of my family and friends. I thank God for my home and my job. I reflect on all the life has in store for me and those around me. Suddenly whatever I am upset about doesn't seem so bad.

2. I focus on what I like about myself. I can be moody, but really I am pretty darn funny. Plus I'll give my last to help and support those that I love, so I think about those characteristics. The back of my legs have an interesting wrinkle thing going on, but the front of my thighs are waaay more defined than ever before. My stomach is looking right, and my arms have some nice definition going on. Instead of being concerned about my view from the back, I check out the front view and smile.

3. I do what I can with what I've got. I'm not saying that I'm the next Iman, but I am a bit of a looker. I feel better when I look my best, so I try to put forth the time and the effort to make that happen. I buy clothes that flatter my body. I accent my face w/accessories and/or make up that highlight my best features, and on the days when I'm just too tired for all of that, then I smile to myself and think "These ppl don't even really know what I'm working with."

4. I keep ppl around me who build me up. If you ask my parents, my best friend, or my man about me, then they are going to have nothing but good things to say. They support me and stand by me through the think and thin. Guess what...those are the primary people that I keep close to me. People that tear me down rather than lift me up or cast doubt into my mind are people who are marginalized in my life. That's not to say that you should be delusional or only role w/people who tell you what you want to hear. However, it is to say that you should stay tight with those who have your best interests at heart.

I hope those techniques help some of you reading. I know that self-esteem is easier said than done, but I these are just some of the things that work for me.