Let's see. I ended the week on a good note. I was able to get my four workouts in, but I had to double up on Saturday with an hour of yoga and 30 mins of cardio. My cardio was due to my new WORKOUT TAPE!! **For some reason the Kanye West 'workout song' started playing in my head just then.** Anyway, I stopped at Best Buy Saturday morning and picked up Shape magazine's Bikini Body Camp: Transforming Workout. http://www.globalfulfillment.net/gfsnet/shapeboutique/10Expand.aspx?ProductCode=SHP-DVD-0010

Let me give you a little bit of my criteria for selecting a DVD. 1st I don't want to select a DVD that will not expand my exercise options. For instance there were lots of yoga dvds, but not only can I take the class in person, but I can also practice it at home with my yoga book. Additionally, I want to get as much bang (or play time) for my buck. My Biggest Loser dvd has three 20 min workouts, one 25 min work out, and a 5 min warm up and 25 min cool down. I selected the Bikini Body Workout b/c I was looking for a cardio program that I could do at home, and the dvd comes with three 30 min work outs that cover cardio and strength training.

So far, I did the 1st workout which is an interval cardio routine. It contains a 5 min warm up and a 5 min cool down with three or four 'rolling hill' sets in between. The movements are things such as side to side lunges, power jacks, tire drills, and more. I def. got a great work out from it. The program recommends that you workout Mon - Fri completing a 30 min work out the 1st four days of the week and combining two for an hour work out on Friday. Right now, I am just going to use it at my discretion when I am not able to (or do not feel like going to the gym). However, during times where I am not able to go to the gym at all I may try the 5 day program. The dvd also came with a meal plan and a resistance band. The resistance band and a set of 3 or 5 pound dumbbells (I use jars of pasta sauce or cans of soup or water bottles instead) are required for the sculpting portions of the workout.

As for food, I had a team event on Friday where the food was flowing...as usual. I wasn't perfect, but I am proud of myself. I intended to eat 2 grilled chicken fajitas and 1 dessert bar (brownie/cookie/lemon bar). What I ended up having was the 2 grilled chicken fajitas, 1/3 of a lemon bar and 1/3 of a blondie, plus a small (saucer sized) plate of nachos w/cheese. It was more than what I agreed with myself that I would have, but I could have gone waaaaay overboard. I limited myself and I am pleased with that.

I'll check in as I try the other two workouts, and I'll continue with more healthy tips. Cheers!

Update, Updates, Updates!

The diet was actually quite successful. I felt incredibly confident on the beach in my swimsuit. I felt that my legs were toned and my stomach was flat. Plus even after the weekend of drinking and a few less than healthy choices, I still weighed in at 177lbs, which I believe is a decrease. Yay Me!

Unfortunately starving yourself simply isn't the answer. I am proud to still be making healthy choices, but I am definitely back to my dilemma of worrying about whether or not I made the 'healthiest' choice. For instance, yesterday I just wasn't feeling a salad or sandwich for lunch. I was wanting something warm, so I opted for backed chicken (dark meat) with green beans. Now I believe that this was a good choice, but since I'm not 100% sure what add'l butters, etc. were added to the food, then I'm not sure. Some parts of me wonders if it is just too heavy of a meal to be having at lunch time. Additionally, I was out with co-workers for dinner last night. I chose a veggie burger, but I really can't guesstimate the calorie break down. Again, I wonder if I should have just opted for a salad, though I have found that anything more than a fat-free/low-fat dressing hikes the calorie and fat content up anyway. I guess that this will be a never ending battle, but it kinda sucks b/c you are constantly thinking (read: worrying) about your food intake. Again, this makes me feel like I'm only a few steps away from obsession/'eating disorder' land.

I took my yoga class on Mon, but I didn't work out Tues & Wed b/c of fatigue and work stuff respectively. I am def. planning to get a work out in, be it doing 30 mins of cardio and 30 mins of weights at the gym or just my Biggest Loser video. Same for tomorrow and then I'll have pilates & yoga on Saturday morning. That should bring me up to my four workouts this week.

I've been wondering just how I should treat myself for all of my hard work. Really, I don't have any sort of 'rewards' program. I've decided that I want to get another exercise dvd. It isn't very expensive, and it will give me yet another option for exercising. I think that I might stop at Best Buy this weekend and see what I can find.

Last thing. This past week I saw a bunch of co-workers that I haven't seen in about a year, and MAN!!! the compliments were rolling in. PLUS, I put on some clothes that I haven't worn since last summer, and there wasn't a snug item in the bunch. This was really encouraging, and it helped me to see how far I have come. Sometimes I wonder how noticeable or significant my loss has been. I must say that btwn last week and this past weekend, I am definitely excited and motivated for my work outs. I surely don't want to take any steps backwards!

I HATE DIETING!!!!!!!!!!


So the job ordered Eduardo's Pizza for lunch today, but all that I can eat is the crapy salad that comes with it. You know that isn't a good salad. I will NEVER diet again. This is ridiculous. Instead of being able to have a small portion of something that you want now and then cut back somewhere else. You are forced to simply go without and be unhappy. This is bullshit!

Happy Monday Everyone!

As you might have guessed I am in a very good mood today. I completed four workouts last week, and I'm in good shape (no pun intended) for this week. I got in an hour of yoga last night, and I am planning to do the Strength & Sculpt workout from my Biggest Loser dvd this afternoon. I just need to get in two more workouts this week (preferably one from my dvd and one yoga) before I head off to sunny South Florida this weekend.

Now since I am heading to the beach this weekend, there has been particular emphasis on the physical appearance. My best friend has convinced me to do a crash diet with her. I'm not actually sure that we will lose a noticeable amount of weight...I mean we're only doing it for 1 week...however, its just a fun way to challenge ourselves. Note: I am definitely not a believer in dieting. Right now, I am starving and using every bit of strength that I have to not only stop myself from eating a snack but also to stop myself from eating EVERY snack in sight. This includes the free cookies, pastries, and variety of candy bars that are within 20 feet of me. It is clear to me that one would never be able to maintain this lifestyle. No wonder dieters often 'yo-yo' with their weight. I'm sure that you would quickly fail any diet that is based primarily in denial.

This is why I want to re-emphasize the importance of healthy eating. As I sit hear yearning for an apple or cup of yogurt, I am truly realizing how you can be healthy and lose weight w/o necessarily being 'hungry'. If only I could master the art of eating quality foods that keep me full, yet don't pack a lot of calories or fat, then I would be in weight loss heaven. Its like this little crash diet has curbed my desire for junk food and made me appreciate the goodness that is a piece of fruit. At the very least I have gone ahead and requested fruit be brought in to our class tomorrow. I can't go another day w/these goodies sitting in front of me.

Finally...and I know that this sounds horrible...but I see why ppl are anorexic. What I mean is that when I am eating healthy and exercising regularly, then I feel thin and trim. I'm not sure if I actually look it, but it certainly changes the way that I see myself. I still want to eat right now, but while I'm not...I like what I see in the mirror. Scary right?!

Today I want to discuss cholesterol. Later I hope to get into muscle definition and sculpting, but that may end up becoming an entirely separate post.

Anyway cholesterol...this past Monday, I received a call from my doctor. She made a note to 'sneak' a cholesterol screen into a host of other blood tests that she was ordering. As it turns out, my cholesterol is in fact high. I really already knew this was the case, as I showed high cholesterol levels back in high school when my insurance company tested me. At the time I assumed that it was a random fluke b/c while I wasn't eating healthy, I was only 17 and quite active in dance class. I didn't make any changes in my diet, as I assumed that things would work themselves out over time. Well they haven't. It turns out that my cholesterol levels total 224, which is borderline high. I believe that the range for borderline high is 200 - 239. Above that is dangerously high and below that is normal. I am supposed to comeback in 4-6 months for retesting, and hopefully they will be back within the normal ranges by then.

Until then, let's discuss what cholesterol means and how I can actively work to bring it down.

Basically, "Cholesterol is a fat-like substance (lipid). About 80 percent of cholesterol is manufactured in the liver. The remaining cholesterol is consumed in cholesterol-rich foods such as meat, eggs or dairy products." There are several different types of cholesterol to be aware of:

- High-density lipoproteins (HDL). “Good” cholesterol, HDLs move easily through the blood and are actually beneficial. They are stable and do not stick to artery walls.

- Low-density lipoproteins (LDL). “Bad” cholesterol, LDLs contain more fat and less protein than HDLs. LDLs are unstable and tend to fall apart. They are more likely to adhere to the walls of the artery and penetrate the protective inner lining of cells (e.g., the endothelium).

- Very low-density lipoproteins (VLDL). These are extremely harmful lipoproteins that carry triglycerides and cholesterol.

- Intermediate-density lipoproteins. Like VLDLs, these also carry triglycerides and cholesterol.

- Chylomicrons. These are very large particles that are rich in triglycerides.

As I understand it, doctors tend to speak in terms of HDL and LDL levels. Although HDL seems to be the safer/better of the two, their are healthy limits for both. Above I noted the ranges of normal, borderline high, and high total cholesterol levels. However, the individual HDL and LDL ranges break down as follows.

LDL
< 100 =" Optimal" 129 =" Near" 159 =" Borderline" 189 =" High"> 190 = Very High

HDL
< higher =" High" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_23">ivillage.com (http://heart.health.ivillage.com/cholesterol/cholesterol.cfm)

So how do I bring my high cholesterol back down to within healthy ranges? As with all things, diet and fitness seem to be key. The American Heart Association advises that we eat no more than 300 mg of cholesterol per day, 200 if you are already at risk. There for it is key to check food labels, and purchase items with lower cholesterol levels. However, it was noted that some items may be marketed as 'Low Cholesterol' when they still contain large amounts of trans fats and saturated fats. Since trans and saturated fats also lead to significantly high cholesterol levels as well, then you aren't doing yourself any favors if you don't check the labels for those as well. Additionally, red meats are believed to be high in fat and cholesterol levels. It is recommended that if you eat red meat, that you stick to leaner items (like ground beef, which has cholesterol levels comparable to chicken) rather than steak, pork or veal.

While there isn't a whole lot of additional information on the correlation between exercise and cholesterol, the general consensus is that healthy body weight and active lifestyle will not only reduce cholesterol levels, but also other risk factors for heart attack and heart disease. It is believed that even small amounts of weight gain like one pound per year can significantly affect cholesterol levels over time. Again, info taken from ivillage.com (http://heart.health.ivillage.com/cholesterol/lowchol.cfm)

One final note. In an attempt to reduce the amount of red meat in my diet, I have increased the amount of chicken and seafood. This is fine, except for the fact that shell fish is fairly high in cholesterol. In particular I LOVE to eat shrimp. However, while low in calories and fat (84 and .9 respectively for 15 lg shrimp), shrimp has a moderate amount of cholesterol (166 mg). This is just the shrimp alone. I haven't yet accounted for butter and sauce, or cholesterol intake from other meals of the day. Remember total cholesterol levels for the entire day should be between 200 - 300mgs. Compare this to baked crab (3 oz.), which may have 117 calories and 5 grams of fat, but only has 80 mgs of cholesterol. Now, the point is not to cut shellfish from the diet, as there are plenty of benefits to eating it. The point is to be careful about portion control and frequency. Rather than making shrimp my favorite dish to order, I will have to focus more on choosing chicken/turkey, fish, and veggie options. When I do opt for shellfish (shrimp, crab, scallops) I will have to be sure to stick to reasonable portions, healthy preparation (steamed, boiled, baked with minimal butters and heavy sauces) and healthy sides. Info taken from Yale-New Have Hospital website (http://www.ynhh.org/online/nutrition/advisor/shellfish.html)

Whew, that was more than a mouthful, wasn't it. I'll have to comeback another time with my thoughts about muscle definition.

My final thoughts are that healthy living is really going to have to move to the forefront of my mind. High cholesterol, heart disease, stroke, and heart attack are no joke. The time to get serious about these changes is now, while I am young and relatively healthy. It will be a hell of a lot harder to make these changes as I continue to age, become more busy, and pass from borderline into dangerous.

Challenge time: I know, I know. I have been failing miserably with my challenges lately. My goals are simple this time. I want to get my cholesterol back down to below 200 by my next doctors appt in June. Also, I want to consistently work out 4 times a week (min). I was going to shoot for a 20 lb loss, but I am hoping that with simply focusing on getting to the gym at least 4 times a week (preferably 6), then the weight loss will come in pound and inches. I'll keep you updated on my progress.

BTW: I was successful at getting to the gym a min of 4 times a week last week, and I'm on target for this week.

Wow!!! It has been sooooo friggin' long. I have so much to tell.

Where should I begin? Well sadly, I did not meet my weight loss goal for Feb. Let me refresh your memory...the goal was to be down to my goal weight of 175lbs by the time that I attended my annual doctor's appt. on 2/19. The week prior I was at 178lbs. I didn't know if I'd be able to loose the other 3 lbs in just a week, but I felt good that I had made some progress. However, an enjoyable weekend in Las Vegas was my undoing. Can you say made to order Ham and Cheese omelets and plenty 'o liquor?

By the time that Monday rolled around, the scale read a solid 183lbs. Now my regular scale at the read my same 180lbs on Friday, so I'm not sure which is correct. Right now, I'm just going to call it a break even saying that there has been no gain or loss since Christmas. How do I feel about that? Well I don't know. I guess that I'm glad that there isn't any gain, but saddened that I've let two whole months slip away w/o any progress do to general lack of commitment. Ok, that's that. I will try to do better, but I don't have my usual positive spin to put on things. I just have to try harder and commit.

Now...lets talk about body image. I have been trying to understand why I like yoga so much, in spite of the fact I am sooooo bad at it. I am not very flexible. I am not very strong, and I am generally the worse person in the class. Yet I keeping going back, and leaving every session feeling refreshed and fulfilled. However, a couple of weeks ago it hit me. I came into the gym early to get some time in on the elliptical machine. As I was doing my thing, I glanced in the mirror and saw this large, unsexy blob bouncing up and down on the machine. I was saddened, and I felt that I couldn't really see any of my progress from the past several months. Yet, when I got into the yoga class and began going through several of the moves, then I found that I felt quite graceful and elegant. My entire perception of myself was changed. I didn't feel chubby or awkward at all. When I looked in the mirror I was actually pleased and proud of what I saw looking back at me. Clearly I was looking at the same person. Nothing about me had really changed...only what I thought of myself.

Just imagine...while accurate self-awareness is valuable...how different would we feel about ourselves on a day to day basis if we could capture and keep that same pride that I had in myself? I guess I never really placed much value in personal body image. Sure it is something that you always hear about, but I never focused on it very much. How much would our days be different if we could truly love and celebrate the 'skin we're in'. Therefore I recommend that we all stop and take time for one of the cheesiest, yet most commonly recommended rituals around. Whenever you look at yourself in the mirror identify at least one thing that you like about yourself. Don't focus on the belly pudge or the chunky thighs or the cellulite. Instead smile and appreciate the slender neck and shoulders, the firm calves, or the perky boobs. Focus on these things as you go throughout your day, as you enter a room, as you take on the world. I think that it will make a difference.

Ok, in keeping with the positive body image here are a few tips to keep your self-esteem high. As it turns out, a negative body image can impact your sex life. I don't think that any of us want that. Taken from ivillage.com (http://diet.ivillage.com/motivate/mimage/0,,Jessica%20Weiner_b77pvv7g,00.html)

1. Remember that when you love yourself you'll attract more love into your life. Sound simple? That's because it is.

2. You have to make peace with your body. If you don't love it, no one else will.

3. Monitor the use of the "Language of Fat," or any form of body bashing, in your relationships. Make sure it isn't impeding your intimacy and connection.

4. Don't blame your love troubles on your curves — if there are problems in your relationship, it most likely isn't because of your size.

5. Replenish and renew! By treating yourself with more loving kindness, you'll foster a connection that helps you get closer to sensuality and intimacy.

6. Get massages, and give each other massages. Don't underestimate the power of touch.

7. Stay focused on the moment and not what you think you look like. Be present with your lover — it'll enhance the entire experience.

8. Your partner has body insecurities too. Use your love and affection to heal and accept each other's body as is.

9. Build intimacy by focusing on hugging, whispering and sharing intimate thoughts. You are more than your body!

10. Enjoy the pleasure of being loved. There's no bigger turn-on than embracing your sexuality.

That's all for now folks. I'll check back in next week to let you know how I am doing as well as to give you an overview of my next weight loss challenge.

Go Bears!!!!!!!!...or not :-(

Ok, so the Bears failed Chicago, and I definitely failed my diet. Superbowl Sunday was not a good day for many of us trying to eat right. The alcohol and snacks were flowing very very freely this weekend. I most definitely over did it, and I am too ashamed to even recount to you all that I ate. However, I was successful in getting to the gym 3 times last week, and I even did about 30 mins of light yoga on my own Sat. night. I am also heading straight to the gym this evening for 30 mins of cardio and an hour of yoga. That feels like a good start to the week.

My conscience has decided to put together an exercise schedule that runs Sat - Thurs. This helps keep him on track regarding what he needs to work on as well as focused on getting into the gym 6 days a week. This has, of course, motivated me to do the same. Mine is set around a Sat - Thurs schedule, however, given the mid-week work commitments that tend to pop up out of nowhere, I am fully prepared to exercise on Friday to make up the day. Essentially I am planning to do yoga four times a week, Pilate's twice a week, and cardio + weight lifting twice a week. As you can tell, this means that I will be doubling up on some days...either combining yoga with Pilate's or yoga with cardio. It certainly looks and feels ambitious. However, I'm hoping to have a 'shoot for the moon and land among the stars' kind of effect.

My diet has been...ok. Clearly Superbowl Sunday was a flop, but I am on target most meals. I have identified a couple of 'cheats' that I have been allowing myself, so I will have to be more strict. What I would really like to do is be very good/diligent throughout the week w/no cheats, and then allow myself 1 treat over the weekend. This could be 1 small bag of candy once a week or 1 larger cheat like ice cream every other week. I'm going to test myself this week to see if I can eat right and earn a snack by the weekend.

I've also decided that my blog should be about more than just my ramblings. I certainly hope that it motivates you to eat right and exercise, but I also want it to inform and empower you to do so. Therefore, I'm gonna start trying to add in facts, tips, and other general info that I find about healthy living. I'll try to make the info unisex, though there is a chance that it may lean more towards women. I'll do my best, though, to keep it neutral.

Today I'm going to post 5 tips for controlling portion size.

"1. Scoop out the calories. Use two-ounce (1/4 cup) serving spoons for casseroles, rice, potatoes and scooped desserts such as ice cream and pudding. Wansink found that even nutrition professionals served themselves 14.5 percent more ice cream when using a four-ounce scoop versus a two-ounce scoop.
2. Sip from tall, narrow glasses. There's something about height that makes us think we're getting a larger portion. In a recent study, bartenders were asked to pour the same amount of liquid into short, wide glasses and tall, narrow glasses. Sure enough, they poured 20.5 percent more liquid into the short, wide glasses.
3. Use small serving bowls. In another study, graduate students were asked to serve themselves Chex Mix or roasted nuts from large or small serving bowls. Results showed that participants ate 56 percent more from the large bowls. This may be due to the fact that a handful from a small bowl "looks" like an appropriate portion size but a handful from a larger bowl may seem too small. Pair a smaller serving bowl with a smaller serving spoon, and you'll have a double winner.
4. Choose small plates. If you serve a half cup of mashed potatoes on an 11-inch plate, it will look like a very small portion. Serve that same half cup of mashed potatoes on a nine-inch plate, though, and it'll look just right. Switch to smaller plates to eliminate overeating for good.
5. Use specially designed plates and bowls. Want to trim down the calorie content of your next meal? Check out these tools to help you reinforce realistic portion sizes.
The Perfect Portions Weight Loss System (http://www.perfectportions.com/) contains a plastic plate with visual guidelines to divide foods into ideal portion sizes for different meals.
The Portion Doctor (http://www.healthportions.com/index.html) offers a variety of plates, bowls and drinking glasses clearly marked for recommended portion sizes.
Fit & Fresh (http://www.fit-fresh.com/) offers a food scale for measuring correct portion sizes. The company also offers high-tech plastic containers perfect for taking breakfast, lunch or dinner on the go. Detachable ice packs keep food cold, and compartments within the containers help keep foods separate.

Info found at ivillage.com - http://diet.ivillage.com/issues/iportions/0,,grieger_9z9dss4l,00.html

Now those who know me are well aware that I'm not trying to spend any extra money right now. However, I definitely like the suggestions regarding using smaller plates/bowls. This is esp. good when I'm eating food that is just 1 dish (like pasta). I'm going to give this a try this week, and see how it works.

Realization

When I am sad or depressed, then I don't care...about anything. This affects my motivation for day to day activities as well as weight loss activities like dieting and exercise. I used to think that I wasn't an emotional eater, but to some extent I am. Its not always the case, but some days...I just don't care. I don't care to go work out, I don't care to pick the right foods, I don't care to do anything, really. There is no solution here, just the realization b/c guess what...I don't care.

That is all.

Quick Update:

So I went to the gym last night...30 mins on something called a 'tread climber' (Learn more here - http://www.treadclimber.com/global/brandhome2.jsp?FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2534374302031664&bmUID=1169665021557&adID=degtrc4&bmUID=1169665020158), and 30 mins of upper body weights and crunches. Anyway, as promised I hopped on the scale when I got finished....182lbs :-( Now this is up 2 pounds from where I felt that I ended out the year. For pride's sake I'm going to note my increased muscle mass from my weight training, pilates, and yoga as well as the new scale that I was using. However, for the sake of meeting my goal of 175lbs by next week, I am going to focus harder on getting the the gym most days of the week as well as closely monitoring my eating. I'm going to have to be sure to avoid all 'cheats' over the coming weeks. As always, it'll be a challenge, but I will give it my best!

YOGA IS NO JOKE!!!!!!!!!

I am sooooo sore! Now, let me not deceive you. I was not the workout queen this week. Poor weather was definitely successful at keeping me indoors. However, I did get to the gym Sunday (1/14) night. I did 30 mins uphill on the treadmill and 30 mins of leg weights and crunches. I also made it out for Pilates (10am) and Yoga (11am) on Saturday, with another dose of Yoga on Sunday. That is what has me limping around the house right now.

I always thought that pilates was the more challenging of the two workout programs. In fact I went to the pilates class Saturday morning b/c I thought that yoga wouldn't be enough for me. However, I was so wrong! Pilates is a cake walk in comparison to yoga. In case you are wondering how this could be, it all depends on the muscle areas that you are working. Pilates works a lot of core and leg muscles, which I happen to be fairly strong in. (Note, the two poses below)













However, yoga uses a lot of muscles in your arms and upperbody, which I am a lot weaker in. (See below)





















I find this sort of workout to be way more challenging. Yet, I really enjoy the classes. I feel relaxed at the end of the workout (esp. b/c the 2nd half of the class tends to focus on balancing and leg poses), and I secretly feel like I'm gaining some little special talent or ability that not many other ppl have. It's quirky, but hey...whatever works to get me to the gym, right? I think that yoga and pilates are nice compliments, and I'll continue to hit the treadmill and weights during times that the classes aren't offered.

So it's been nearly a month since I've hopped on a scale. Like always I am dreading the deed. This is for a couple of reasons. #1 My workouts haven't been as frequent as I'd like. #2 My eating has been pretty good, but I can pinpoint some 'cheats' that I've had along the way. Don't get me wrong. My lifestyle has still remained healthy, but yet not perfect. #3 Since I have been lifting the weights and doing yoga and pilates, then I am concerned that I have been primarily building muscle. Muscle is good, and I def. want to increase my overall muscle mass. However, since it is heavier than fat, then I am worried that the number on the scale will inch up just on GP. Sigh, I suppose that I have no other choice than to bite the bullet and hop on. If I am serious about being at my 175lb goal weight by the middle/end of February, then I must track my progress. Nothing would be worse than getting there and receiving a major dissappointment. Next trip to the gym, its me and the scale. Update soon...

Has it been a month?


Sorry guys. I've not been very motivated to blog over the last few weeks. It's kinda like my motivation to exercise...non-existent.

So here's the update. I closed out the year at 180lbs. That is 20 lbs lighter than we we 1st started this journey, and hopefully a whole lot healthier. I did do some pigging out while at home for Christmas (there was just too much good stuff at home), but I managed to get my diet right back on track after the holiday. The trouble has been in getting my lazy butt to the gym. We're 2 weeks into the new year, and I've only exercised twice. No good, for someone who is supposed to be working out 6 days a week. Truthfully, I'd be very happy with myself if I was going every other day. I don't know what it is. I'm only 5lbs away from my original goal, and yet I'm still struggling with committing.

This past Saturday I hit the eliptical machine for 30 mins, and then I did another half hour of upper body weights and crunchs. That was fulfilling. Last night I took a yoga class, and whomever told you that yoga wasn't challenging was lying for sure. There were many many times where I was struggling and in pain. Yet, I felt more relaxed by the end of the class. I learned to just push myself as far as I can go, not to feel bad if I have to stop and release the pose, and to be sure to try again the next time. Plus my flexibility is HORRIBLE. Its been a long time since I was dancing in high school. I think that I'm going to try and stick with it. There is another class this Monday, so I'm going to try to make it.

Lets think of ways that I can improve. Well we've been eating out far far more than cooking at home. While I realize that I'm not a great cook, my meals are simple, and I at least know what's going into them. I'm trying my best to keep the ingredients healthy, and I'm not tempted to choose a less healthy/more inviting option. Next week, I've got to push myself to cook more. Here's a catch...a lot of the time I feel too tired to cook after I exercise. I think that I will try to alternate the days that I cook and exercise. So Monday I will exercise, but order in, and Tuesday I will stay home and cook. Also, I've got to work on pushing myself. I've realized that many of my healthy habits of the past were due to my conscience. If he's heading to the gym, then I am more than happy to head there right along with him. However, if he's staying home, then I am perfectly content to relax there with him. On my own I'm ok b/c there isn't really the temptation to come in and cool out. What can I say...I like hanging out with the guy. So over the next few weeks, I'm going to work on suggesting that we head to the gym in the evenings. I've found that when I make the suggestion, he's usually cool with it. And if he's planning on staying in, then I'm still going to push myself to head out there anyway. Its only 1 hr out of my evening, and totally do-able. Who know's...maybe he'll even cook for me on those nights.

Overall, I'm please with how far I've come. I've still got plenty of work to do in the new year, so here's to refocusing my efforts and keeping up the good work.

P.S. My doctor was the 1st person to suggest that I get my weight down to at max 175lbs. I am seeing her again at the end of Feb, so the target is to be at my 1st milestone (175lbs) by my next doctor visit.

Update!

So last Friday I went in for my final session with my personal trainer. We did a final weigh in as well as re-took all of my measurements. Good news! My weight is down to 181, and I lost 2 inches in my waist and hips, and 1 inch in my bicep! YAY! Now that info is kinda deceptive. We re-calculated my body fat, and it was still at 32%. This means that although I have lost fat, I have also lost muscle. Since I have been only dieting the last two weeks, not working out, then both fat and muscle has been falling away. I'm not exactly complaining, but trainer lady did point out the importance of muscle mass in overall fat burn. This week and next week I hope to start back walking and maybe lifting a few weights. My arm isn't completely healed, but I want to remain pro-active.

Happy thoughts: So all this time I've been saying that I can't really see the weight loss. Well this weekend it finally hit me. My pants are simply hanging off of me. I had so much underwear showing in my jeans that I went out and bought a new pair of jeans and a new pair of khakis that fit much better in the waist. They were still a size 14, but it made me happy b/c I think that I've been denying the fact that most 14s were no longer fitting me. I kept looking in my closet and saying all of my pants are 14s and they fit. However, I am realizing that when I would try on 14s that didn't fit, then I just wouldn't get those pants. I never picked out a larger size that did fit. Now I'm going to take 3 pairs of work slacks and have them altered over the break. They are sagging in a major way, and its kinda embarassing. However, I'm just smiling that I've finally opened my eyes and recognized the tangible improvements.

Christmas break will be tough for managing my weight. I am planning to try my best to keep up with my diet (although, I recognize that eating at home will simply be different than eating on my own) and get in a little exercise. My mom and I are planning to walk, and there are weights at home for me to use with my low-impact work out tape. Since I'm still working my way back into exercising anyway, then this is very reasonable. I'll plan on punching it up when I return to work the following week.

Sexy new body, here I come!

Stillllllllllllllllll not able to exercise yet :-(

I miss it. Well I don't miss the actual work outs; you know that those can be ass kickers. However, I feel more in shape and slim/trim when I am exercising. When I don't work out, then I feel like I'm just hanging out gaining wait. I have been maintaining my diet. Oatmeal or yogurt for breakfast, sandwich/salad/grilled or baked poultry for lunch, 100 calorie pack for a snack, and a reasonable dinner. I've been choosing grilled options for my meats (usually poultry or fish), and I even cooked twice this week. I made grilled shrmp w/angel hair pasta and low cal pasta sauce, as well as fresh turkey burgers w/baked fries. Yay me!

I feel as though I need to be more restrictive with my diet, though. Since I am doing absolutely nothing right now, I need to be very particular about what I eat. Most likely I will not begin working out again until the week before or after Christmas, and even then I'm just planning on doing some walking. My arm should be nearly healed by then, but I figure that if I can just walk at a slow-moderate pace for about 45 mins - hour, then I should really sweat very much. I am also thinking that I can walk out door as well. The cool air should keep my temp. down. Until then, I want to be sure that I am maintaining my weight at the very least. Truthfully, I'd like to lose at least a pound or two before the new year simply by dieting. However, worst case scenario would be an increase in my weight. Setbacks are no fun. To aide in this I am going to have to begin a food journal. I absolutely hate food journals b/c it seems like a real hassle to write down everything that you eat. However, it ups you accountability and makes you take a hard look at the food choices that you're making. Then, I'm going to try to enter what I've eaten into Fitday.com. Have I already told you guys about this site? Well it allows you to enter the food portions that you've eaten for the day as well as your daily activity. Based upon the calories consumed and burned, it'll let you know if you've gained or lost weight for the day. Now it isn't completly user friendly. Sometimes its hard to know what was included in food that was eaten out, and you can't always find the foods that you've had in their search engine. However, I think its good enough to give me some rough idea. I suppose that I'll start this tomorrow. I need to pick up a cheap journal to carry around.

Oh, I think that I owe you a weigh in. Well I'm having my final session with my personal trainer next week. Its just an exit interview, so she'll weigh me and take all of my measurements once again. I should be able to report back at that time. TTYL!

Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! I know that it has been a hella long time since I blogged. What happened you ask? Sickness and infection. As it turns out, I may have a disease called Hidradentitis Suppurativa (http://dermatology.about.com/cs/infectionbacteria/a/hidradenitis.htm). Pretty nasty stuff, but there are worse things in the world to have to deal with. In short, it means that I am prone to chronic infections of the sweat glands. One of these got particularly intense last week, and I was forced to the doctor. While the infection has been removed, I am now healing, which has kept me off my feet. I am actually a little fearful about getting back into exercising since the infections are generated within the sweat glands. I know that I can't not exercise, but I'm just afraid that as soon as I do, then I'll be back in the same boat battling another infection. The doctor's don't really seem to have any recommentations on how to manage the condition or avoid future outbreaks. I have a follow up appointment on Friday, so I'll try again to coax some helpful hints out of the doctor and his assistant. Until then, I'll have to work harder to maintain my diet. Without exercising it isn't likely that I will lose weight, but I would at least like to maintain it until I am back in good health. I'll go for another weigh in, in a week or so and let you know where we are!

ETA: I read that sweating and being overweight can aggravate the condition. LOL! So I need to lose weight, but I just can't sweat while doing it. Nice!

I'm back!

I finally made it home to my parent's house and my parent's scale. *horror screams echo in the background* After completing a Biggest Loser workout, I made my way to my bathroom scale. I was hesitant to hop on, but a promise had been made. I climbed on and was pleasantly surprised to find the dial landing at 185lbs. That's down 2 lbs from my last personal weigh in out and 3lbs from the trainer lady's weigh in. I am thrilled! At 1st my conscience didn't believe me b/c I originally came up with 2 different #s. I tried weighing myself with the scale placed on the bathroom carpet, which gave me a significantly higher number. Closer, if not into, the 190s. However I moved it to the tile floor, which is where I got the 185 reading. Now you know that I'm paranoid, so I got on and off several times to verify that the number didn't change. Upon hearing the skepticism in my conscience's voice, I proceeded to a different scale in my parent's bathroom the following morning. To my delight it too read 185! So I feel as though this should be some sort of a milestone, as we're down 15lbs from when I 1st began August 1st.

I think that its time for another challenge. I am setting yet another 10lb weight loss challenge for myself. I am going to lose 10 more pounds by 12/31. Do you know what that means? I will be at my goal weight of 175lbs! Down 25lbs in 5 months. YAY!!!!! Now I know that you're saying, "Hey, you weren't even successful in your last 10 lb challenge." I hear ya, and I have a couple of responses. I am learning more about myself and how to exercise, so I think that some of my workouts are more effective/impactful than in the past. Plus, any loss is a success. Although I really believe that I'll be able to complete my 10 lbs in the next 5 weeks, any weight loss is something to sing about.

So before I head off for the Thanksgiving holiday, I have to address the death trap that is holiday food. My family is NOTORIOUS for having what I like to call 'the good stuff' around this time of the year. Egg nog, cookies, nuts, candy, pie, plus that delicious Thanksgiving day meal. However, I do have a plan for getting out alive. Over the next several days leading up to the holiday, I am going to do my very best to maintain my same diet. We do have healthy foods in the house, so I just have to be responsible enough to choose them. As for the holiday favorites, I think that I can successfully skip out on cookies and pies. Egg nog will be limited to 1 small glass a day, and even that will be substituted for tea where possible. The dinner itself...it is what it is. I think I'm ok with an indulgence for Thanksgiving and Christmas. However, I am going to focus on portion control and eating slowly. My goal is to enjoy the meal, but not to stuff myself. Plus plus plus, I plan to keep up my exercising throughout the week. Overall I think I'll come out a winner ;-)

What's happened since I last blogged? Lots of fun exercise :-)

I've had 2 more personal training sessions, completed my Biggest Loser workout video twice, and strength trained and jogged on my own. Yay for me! I can afford to do a bit better on the diet. I've done much better about sticking to my eating schedule, however, multiple team events last week left me with a few unhealthy dinners and lots of wine. As a result, I am opting out of a few of the events this week and choosing to use that time for exercise and rest instead.

Lets talk about perceptions, though. I think that I mentioned before that I never really saw myself as a fat person before. Yes, I thought of myself as 'thick', and yes I've noticed one or two bad photos. However for the most part I was really pleased with my appearance. Well I guess not completely pleased (otherwise, I would never have decided to make this change), but pleased for the most part. However, just the other day I spent time uploading pictures onto my Myspace page. As I went from one pic to the next I saw a genuinely fat person. A really pretty fat person, but there was no denying the weight in my face and body as I looked at the pics. It really made me wonder...when the hell did that happen. I mean its like I never really saw myself before. It again made me wonder if this is the ME that everyone else has been seeing all this time. A pretty but chunky girl, rather than the hot mama that I see. I guess that it just kinda strengthened my resolve to keep working at this. I want the ME in my mind's eye to match the ME on my camera. It also made me focus in on the fact that this really does have to be a complete life change. If I don't make exercise and healthy eating a regular habit from here on out, then its only a matter of time b4 the weight creeps back in. There is nothing worse that an wack chick who thinks that she's fine. I CANNOT be that girl.

I'm heading to my parent's home this weekend where I will again hop on the scale. Giving the exercise successes and the food failures, I'm kinda just expecting to break even. However a weigh in prior to Thanksgiving has got to be much better than a weigh in afterwards. I'm taking the Biggest Loser tape with me though, and I'll give you the results this weekend.

Soooooooooooo it's been more than a minute.

I'm sorry to say, that I really don't have much 'good' to report. I fell off the wagon for sure. In the last week I only exercised twice, and I did not stick to my diet. Here, let me tell you the good, the bad, and the ugly.

The Good:
- I bought a work out tape. Its a 90 min long DVD made by the people at NBC's The Biggest Loser. It has a warm up, a cool down, a beginners, and an advanced work out. Plus it only cost about $12. I haven't tried it yet, but it looks really good for those rainy days where you don't want to go out of the house.

- I took 2 exercise classes. Step Aerobics (60 mions) and Salsa Moves (60 mins). What's good about the classes it that they were an hour each. Since I typically work out for 30 mins at a time, then I kinda doubled up on those days. The Step class was definitely more high impact. However, since I had the instructor from hell (read: somebody needs to give this chick the definition of the word instruct as well as its synonym teach) I spent most of the class trying to figure out what the hell was going on and catch up. I like the Salsa Moves class much better b/c I knew what I was doing, but it was much more low impact that Step. Both classes did a good job of getting my heart rate up as well as working my legs, but maybe not such a good job at burning fat.

- I had my 1st personal training session. Trainer lady gave me a pedometer to measure my steps as well as some nutrition information. She also confirmed that my weightloss plan is right on target. I'm eating several meals a day. I'm eating a balance diet, which is low in fat and calories. I'm aiming to work out 6 days a week, but at least most days of the week. I'm doing both strength training and cardio. All of this is exactly what she wants me to be doing.

The Bad:
- Since I only attended the two 'average' exercise classes last week, then I didn't really get the amount of calorie burn or muscle exercise that I prefer. Something is better than nothing, but I can do much better.

- I slid right off the diet. This is my biggest detriment for the week. It started with indulging in Mexican and Chinese food the previous weekend, and went downhill from there. The biggest dissapointment that I have is that I allowed myself to snack at the office, and I didn't adhere to my outline of Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner w/2 snacks (100 calories or less) in between. Choosing healthy meals is doable when I'm in most settings (read: home or a restaurant w/a variety of healthy options as opposed to a pizza parlor). However, the snacks are the calories that slip through the cracks, but add up on you later.

- My 1st training session was really more of a health consultation than personal training. Trainer lady weighed me, took my measurements, gathered some info, and gave me some info. I felt a bit jipped. I mean its just 5 personal training session, and we didn't even exercise on one of them. Bastards!

The Ugly:
- So during my personal training session Trainer lady took my weight as well as a bunch of other measurements and came up with my % body fat. I weighed in at 188, which is one pound over my last weigh in. I'm not sure if it's b/c of my habits this last week, or simply b/c we used a different scale. Either way, that isn't what really concerned me. I was much more disturbed by the % body fat that she came up with. 32% Yowser!!!!!!!

According to About.com as well as Nutribase.com a normal % is 22 - 25%. Above average is about 25 - 29%, and above that is over weight. Now just how overweight is where the two sites differ. About.com says above 32% is the danger zone, whereas Nutribase.com says that above 35% is the danger zone.

Now I should not be surprised by this. I mean I started off with a goal weight of 175lbs as that was the max weight that my doctor recommended that I be at for my age/height. Given that I am 10 - 15lbs over that, I am clearly 'overweight'. However, it is just surprising to hear that 1/3 of your weight is fat.

Trainer lady said that losing 2% would be about 8 lbs, and therefore losing 3% would be about 12 lbs. That would bring me to my max weight of 175 lbs as well as 29%, the max in the above average range.

Its good to know that I'm on the right track with my goals and methods. I just need to make sure that my motivation and delivery stay in line with that. I'm not discouraged right now, just very very eager to get back on the wagon. The good thing about losing weight is that you can always start again, and luckily...I'm pretty much starting where I left off. I'll push through this week, and let you know how things go!

Wow...it has been a whole week since I posted. Sorry guys, I dropped the ball. I guess that not too much has really happened since last week. I've continued to eat well, although I can definitely see a few areas where I'm slipping. I am still making good choices, but not always the best choice. For instance, I might have Baked Lays Doritos (170 calories and 5 grams of fat) instead of Baked Lays Plain (105 calories and 1.5 grams of fat). Its minor, but I just want to be aware of it, so that these things don't add up on me. I haven't been so great with the exercising this week. I worked out Monday and Tuesday, but then I took Wednesday off and got my hair done on Thursday. I need to at least get in some crunches and lunges or walking this evening, and I need to get in full work outs this weekend.

I also have the task of contacting 24 Hour Fitness, which has failed to contact me regarding my personal training sessions. I really hate when I have to follow up with a business about why they didn't follow up with me. However, its more important not to waist the money, so... I'll give them a call today.

Health-wise that's really all that has been going on. Sorry it isn't more exciting. Maybe I'll hit up a book store this weekend and see about some workout tapes. I can't always make it out to the gym, so these might be a fun alternative. Let me know if you have any recomendations. Cheers!

I think that it was a good week :-)

So I took my 1st aerobics class this week...at least I thought that it was aerobics. In reality it turned out to be 60 tortourous minutes of weight training. I am sooooo sore right now that I can hardly type this. However, I guess I feel stronger and pleased with myself for surviving. Basically we worked upper body, lower body, and abs using anywhere from 8 to 35 lbs of weights. I felt like one of those muscle men in South Beach. Now I'm dying for a massage to take the pain away. I do think that I'll go back to the class, but I am definitely going to adjust the amount of weight that I'm lifting. I should be able to lift the weights more effectively if I lift less.

What I really need to be talking about is my cooking. Basically it sucks. As I have always said...I can keep another human being alive. However, it's just nothing that you'd be excited to eat. My conscience is playing nice, but I secretly think that he's a bit disappointed. He's offered to 'help' me cook now, and I guess I'm ok with that. I really wanted to do a great job on my own and impress him, but that is just not going to happen. He's a good cook, so I'll learn what I can. Maybe oneday I can flip it and surprise him. Anyway, even if I'm not the food genius, I am the planner, so I get to decide what we're eating. Here's what we're going to try cooking this week:

Mon: Baked Chicken Salad (You'll remember that this was one of my successful meals from a few weeks ago. I'd like to try it again)

Tues: Baked Catfish (Not sure how we're gonna season it, but I really like catfish...so its on the menu) w/steamed veggies and red potatoes

Wed: Spicy Shrimp (Ok, I don't really know how we're gonna make it spicy...However the conscience loves spicy food, so I'm sure he'll have some ideas. At the very least we could add a little cayenne or jalepeno to the mix) w/black beans & rice

Thurs: Pasta Salad (I'm thinking of using those tri-colored corkscrew pasta w/Italian dressing, parmesean cheese, and some other miscellaneous ingredients) w/cheesy Italian Bread

Fri: Chicken Breast Sandwiches (Perhaps on our unused French Bread w/red peppers...not the fresh ones, but the ones that come in a jar. I forgot the name...maybe pepperochini. Also provolone cheese, and you guessed it...the seasonings are up in the air.) I'm thining left-over pasta salad can go on the side.

Ok, really we aren't going to cook every night. We'll probably go out to dinner a few nights. Plus I'm sure that HE will have something to say about the menu. However, I think that this is a good start. Cross your fingers that we don't end up in the hospital.

Well, its been a while. Yes it has been more than a week since I last blogged. I guess I've been...occupied ;-)

My conscience is back from Europe! Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!! After 5 weeks a part I have dropped at least 5 lbs (sorry, I didn't get a chance to weigh in this Monday) and successfully cooked 3 tasty meals. Although I fell short of my overall weight loss goal, I still feel pretty good. I didn't fall short b/c I slipped up on my diet or didn't work out. I consistently ate healthy and worked out at least 5 days out of the week. I realize that I could lose weight more quickly if I had a more extreme/strict diet (i.e. significantly restricting portion size and calories rather than simply eating healthy foods). However, what I like about my current diet is that it is very doable. Oatmeal w/brown sugar and raisins for breakfast, grilled chicken Caesar salad for lunch, and grilled shrimp, steamed veggies and rice for dinner is definitely something that I can live with long term. Remember this is a lifestyle change, not just a diet.

Sooooo what have I been up to? Well I left a gym and joined another one. Previously I was a member of Curves, International. For those of you not too familiar with their clubs learn a little more here: http://www.curves.com/. Basically its a full body 30 min work out. However the catch is that you rotate between 8 - 12 different machines every 30 seconds, AND THAT'S IT! No classes, no treadmills, no weights just the designated 'circuit'. Now I can't complain too much about Curves. Truthfully I did lose 12 lbs there during my 1st year of joining. However, it is simply too restrictive for me now. Not only do many of the locations close by 7 or 8 pm (making it more ideal for a stay-at-home mom than a working woman), but after a while I simply got bored. I was to be able to do something different sometime.

Since I haven't been using curves for the last several months that I've been traveling, and I'm pretty sure that I won't be returning them when I stop, then I went ahead and faxed over my termination letter yesterday. Ironically, my conscience up and decides that he wants to head over to 24 Hour Fitness to learn more about their offerings. http://www.24hourfitness.com/. They are a traditional gym, and definitely more of what I was looking for. The only issue is that they have no locations in my home city. That kinda sucks b/c I'd love to work out there on a regular basis. However, when I 1st started traveling 7 months ago, I didn't join b/c I thought I'd only be on the road for 3 months. Now that I am slated to stop traveling in 3 months I am faced with the same dilemma. Learning from my original mistake, I decided to go ahead and join on a month to month basis. I'll just cancel it when I return home.

Here's what's really fun. My conscience joined as well. As a matter of fact, right now he's kinda paying for it, so I gotta remember to pay him back for my membership. So as we're getting info on the membership they offer us an opportunity to get 5 - 30 minute personal training sessions for $50. About $10 per session isn't bad. I was hesitant to sign up, but my conscience offered to pay for them for me. YAY! Of course, I won't continue after the 5 sessions, but I can at least get some moves and techniques to incorporate into my personal routine. Plus they do a fitness and diet analysis and give you a pedometer. Ok, I know that I'm a geek, but I'm really excited about the pedometer. They are going to give me a call to schedule the sessions, so I'll let you know when I have my 1st one.

Overall, I'm really pleased with where I am. I'll give myself a weigh in next time that I'm at the gym. I'll also report back on the exercise classes that I want to take, my personal training sessions, and of course the healthy meals that I am beginning to cook. I'll bet you can't wait.