On Monday I weighed in at 165.5. I'm not sure what the scale will say tomorrow morning. I am hoping for a solid 165, but I'm not really confident. I overate yesterday. I'm not sure how far over my calories I was, but I'm pretty sure it was over. The day went as follows:

Breakfast (7 am)
- yogurt
- breakfast bar

Lunch (10 am - the plan was to not eat again until 4)
- Banana
- 2 slices of wheat toast
- yogurt

Snack (1pm - my plan failed)
- 1 cup of fat-free frozen yogurt
- small latte w/skim milk

Pre-Happy Hour Snack (5pm)
- Banana

Happy Hour Snacks (7 pm)
- 1 cup of raw broccoli/carrots/cauliflower
- dip (2 tablespoons)
- 2 tortilla chips

Dinner (9 pm)
- Grilled Tilapia
- Spinach & Asparagus
- Herb rice
- Roll

I think that I might feel good about my day if it were not for the pre-happy hour and happy hour bit. My major downfall is that the majority of my meals (primarily lunch) were pretty much snacks. Anytime that I don't have a real meal to eat, then I end up filling hungry again really quickly. Ugh - if I wasn't on this diet, then I wouldn't really be concerned, but since I'm 'counting calories' then yesterday wasn't a win.

I plan to swim for a full hour tomorrow and Saturday and add in an extra day of yoga (on Friday) to off-set the difference. Man I can't wait for 3/31.

I read an article yesterday called 'Your Happy Weight'. Essentially its a healthy weight that is easy for you to maintain with normal diet and exercise. I feel like I'm at my happy weight right now...about 165lbs. I love the way that I look...I'm enjoying my 5 workouts per week (and I think that I could even maintain my weight on 4/week), and I'd like to eat 'normally' (healthy, w/no more than 2 splurges per month and about 1600 calories/day). The article had me calculate my 'happy weight', which was about 155lbs. That would be an add'l 10lb loss, but I don't know if I really could comfortably maintain that. Plus I don't know if I'd like the way that I'd look...I'm not trying to give up ALL the junk in the trunk. Anyway, I'm going to forge ahead w/the competition, but after it is over, then I'm going to settle into a routine that works for me (working out 4-5 times/week, eating about 1600 cal/day, splurging every now and again once or twice/month). Wherever that takes me to weight wise is going to be my happy weight, and I'm just going to be satisfied to stay there and maintain.

Honestly, I see why nutritionists encourage you to avoid short term (extreme) diets and allow yourself indulgences from time to time. Diets like the one that I am on make you A. want to pig out and binge (I stood for 5 mins yesterday staring at a case of baked goods thinking "If I wasn't on this stupid diet, then I would buy that brownie, and that pumpkin muffin, and the cinnamon roll, and the sticky bun, and I would eat it ALL!"), and B. focus more on the scale and the calorie count than your overall appearance.

Before I was 'dieting' I never wanted to eat EVERYTHING in sight. I saw things here and there that I wanted, and for the most part I could ignore or brush off all of those cravings. Sure I wanted a bacon cheese burger, but I could easily convince myself to eat a turkey burger or chicken sandwich. I might allow myself something more 'risque' on a occasion (like a bar-b-que chicken sandwich), but that was about it. Right now, if this diet ended today, I feel like I would eat 1 of every food that I love, but normally don't eat even when I'm not dieting. I'm like a binge waiting to happen...can you imagine what I would be like if I was trying to do this long term? I would never make it.

Also, I LOVE the way that I look right now. I am so pleased with my body, but b/c I am so focused on wining, then I am actually disappointed when the scale says 166 instead of 165 or when I eat ALL of a healthy meal (like the grilled fish and veggies that I had yesterday). Its a shame. I see how ppl get eating disorders and what not...you focus on the wrong thing for too long, and you'll never be satisfied. Enough is never enough.

Anywhoo...that was a rant, but its some of what has been on my mind these last few days. I'm just going to try to stay strong and persevere. I DO plan to allow myself a good day of eating on the 31st. My plan is to eat what I want on the 31st and then go back to normal healthy eating and living on 4/1. I'm using my desire to stay super sexy for my vacation on 4/13 as my incentive to not let my '1 Day of treats' spill over into 'unlimited days of treats'. After that I'm just going to focus on the lifestyle that works for me and the HAPPY WEIGHT!

Ok...more updates. I weighed myself this morning and came in at 166.5lbs, so I reported a weight of 167lbs again this week. How do I feel about that?...ummm, I don't know. I mean, I didn't really want to continue losing 2 lbs a week b/c at that rate, I would shrink away to nothing. However, I did want to lose about a pound a week to drop about 10 more lbs total over the remainder of the competition. I'm not sure if I put on muscle or if I have been eating the same low-cal/low-fat diet, but higher in carbs. When I weighed myself on Monday I was 165.5, so I expected to be a solid 165 by Friday for another 2lb drop this week. However, 'twas not the case. I'm going to give it another week to see if this remains the same, and I'll let you know what's the result.

Update - I weighed myself at home and came in at 170.5lbs. YAY! Ok, you may not think that's a yay, but I do b/c it means that the readings that I've been getting on my home scale are pretty accurate. I'm not sure if I'm heavier b/c I've packed on muscle, or simply b/c I'm weighing in sooo late in the day. However, I will weigh myself 1st thing tomorrow morning to see if there is a difference. Also next, Thursday I will weigh in at home b4 I go to work as well as at work before I eat or drink. That'll further help me to determine if there is any difference in the scales and then to later account for it.

I'm not happy today guys. I don't know what the problem is, either. I'm just feeling really hungry and tired and stressed and not happy. I'm trying not to think about how many more weeks of this torture I have left...but its really hard to take it one day at a time. Its much harder than normal weight loss b/c there are NO splurges allowed. I'm afraid that if I do splurge, then I'll lose my lead...PLUS I already see a potential splurge/slip up coming in the future. Sigh - I can't describe it. I'm just tired of being hungry and tired all the time.

Also I weighed in at the office today (mind you later in the day, so after I had been eating and drinking), and I came in at 171 lbs. WTF! To see that on top of everything...I wanted to cry. I am going to go home and weigh myself on my home scale to see if there is a difference btwn my home scale and the scale at work. *sigh* I guess I'll plan to start weighing in at work on a weekly basis just to get a baseline for where I really am in the big scheme of things. However, it just makes me so frustrated. I have been sooooo committed, and now I actually want to win (before I didn't care, and now I do). Ugh! The last time that I weighed myself mid-day (on my home scale) I was about 3 lbs heavier than I was the following morning, so applying that same logic here...my 'work weight' could really be 168lbs, which would be a 10 lb lost in 3 weeks (nothing to be ashamed of) and about on par with what I thought I had lost (lower 170s home weight to current lowe 160's home weight). I don't know, I'm just trying to make sense of it all.

Anywho...that's today.

**singing** I know what I'm going to do with my wiiiiinings!!!!!


Can you say spa day? I sure as hell can. I have never had a real (scheduled at a spa, lie down naked on the table) massage. Well, when I win, then I sure plan to get one. My body has been so sore from the increased exercise that I can't think of anything more fitting than a celebratory massage. Also, I plan to get a nice manicure and pedicure. The decent salon/spas near to me charge about $70 for a mani/pedi, so I usually forgo them for either a $30 combo at the local nail shop or something that I can do myself. However, since this competition will be over in April, just b4 I go on vacation, then I will definitely be getting a very nice professional, relaxing, spa manicure/pedicure. I can't wait!!!!!!!

I am so committed to winning that I actually worked out twice today. For those of you who don't know, this is HUGE for me. I swam this morning, and then learned that the catfish that I defrosted for dinner has about 700 calories for a medium fillet and over 100 for a large fillet. WHAT! Who knew that grilled fish could be so fattening? My conscience suggested that I workout again (workout dvd or something) to offset the extra calories. I was really reluctant to do it, but I checked out yogatoday.com, and the episode looked pretty interesting. Sooooo...I did an extra hour of yoga. It felt great! My sore muscles felt soooo stretched, relaxed, and relieved. Also I cut my large piece of fish in half, so that I can cut my calories down to 500 calories. Not bad, huh?

The competition is suuuuuper stiff. I weighed in this morning at 167lbs...YAY! Well actually I weighed in at 166.5lbs, but I allowed myself the extra .5lbs to account for clothes. I am so pleased with my progress. According to our record keeper, I am once again in the lead. However, another competitor is close on my heals. In fact, he was in the lead until I reported this week's weight. If I had not lost any pounds, then he would have taken the lead.

My top competitor is using the South Beach Diet method, which is giving him pretty good results. If you aren't familiar with the diet, then a general understanding of the diet is the following. Dieters are teaching themselves how to eat healthy again. They spend the 1st two weeks on a pretty restrictive diet, no "bread, rice, potatoes, pasta, baked goods, or fruit". After two weeks the dieters re-introduce these foods back into their diet in a healthy way (good carbs and fat rather than bad carbs and fat) and sustain this diet until they reach their goal weight. Ultimately the dieter should be able to maintain their healthy weight b/c they have learned the right way to eat for life.

Here is my thinking on this entire competition, but esp. on this particular competitor. #1 I am really already in the '2nd phase of the South Beach Diet', meaning that I am at a point where I am eating healthy foods in appropriate proportions. I'm not really 'learning' how to eat right b/c that is what I have spent the last year and a half doing. Now I am just practicing what I know. #2 Consistency is the key!!!! My major assumption is that the majority of the other competitors are not going to eat right and exercise consistently throughout the 12 weeks. Mr. South Beach may be on his grind today, but w/a pregnant wife and a diet that eventually allows him to eat sweets and drink alcohol, I am betting that he's gonna start slippin' on his pimpin'. That is where I plan to beat out he and the rest. If I can just motivate myself to stick to my 1400 calories a day and my 3 cardio and 2 strength workouts a week, then I believe that I can win.

I know that it is going to be tough...heck it already is, but I just have to stay focused on the money...ummm I mean my new healthier, sleeker body. Who the heck am I kidding, we're all in it for the cash :-) Anyway, I purchased my scale yesterday. It is pretty cool...it will remember and calculate weight, body fat % and % of water for up to 4 ppl. I plan to weigh myself on Monday and Thursday, so that I can closely monitor and track my progress.

Ok, before I go, I also have to just talk a little about the benefits of journaling what you eat. I used to never do this b/c I always hear ppl say "Well it will help make you aware of your eating patterns and help you to identify where you are falling short of your diet." I would think to myself, I can remember everything that I ate today, so I don't need to write it down to do that. However, the major benefit that it has had for me, is that you can SEE how many calories (grams of fat, cholesterol, sodium, etc) that you are taking in every day. I am waaaay less likely to eat a little Hershey Kiss when I know that I'll have to go back and add in those calories. Also, sometimes we just plain underestimate how many calories are in some of our favorite healthy foods. Plus, if I've had dinner but still would like a snack or something, then I can look at how much I've already eaten, and determine if there is room in my diet. Some nights I'm already at 1400 calories, so no after dinner snack for me. However, if I am actually around 1200, then I feel free to grab an orange or a 100 calorie pack. It really is awesome, and I'm going to keep using this technique in the future.

I just want to say that whomever said that exercising gives you a burst of energy has no idea what they are talking about. Well, they at least do not know me. I am as tired as tired can be right now, and I spend my days craving my bed (and my next meal). I hope that my body adjusts to the new schedule soon.

Well...so far I am leading the pack in the Biggest Loser. I'll post the unofficial results on a weekly basis, so that you can see how I compare to the other competitors (this week's should be coming out sometime this afternoon).

I am feeling sooooooo much pressure. Whew...you have no idea. This is unlike my previous weight loss b/c I really feel pressured to show progress on a weekly basis. The other competitors are really looking at me to see if my loss this week is sustainable, or just a one time fluke. I really really want the loss to be sustainable.

I am doing what I know how to do best...cutting my calories and exercising. I have been diligent about tracking my food intake daily on fitday.com. My goal is to keep my calorie intake around 1400 per day. I heard that your body naturally burns about 1500-2000 calories per day. I am not sure exactly what my body is burning on a daily basis, but 1400 seems to make sense to me. As it is, 1400 calories is usually about 3 very light/healthy meals a day and 1 or 2 100 calorie snacks. Not much food at all, so I have a hard time imagining how to cut it down to less than that. If I do feel that I need to get it lower, then I suppose that I could make meal replacement smoothies on the weekend and eat meal replacement bars during the week, but I am hoping that it doesn't come down to that. I really hope that I can sustain about a 1 pound loss per week. This would get me down to 158lbs in the next 11 weeks. Overall that would be a 21 lb loss, which would be 12% of my total body weight. Although some of my competitors are aiming for 15 and 16% losses, I think that this would be enough to really give them a run for their money.

I have some fears, though. #1 I am worried about cutting my calories too low, and causing my metabolism to slow down. I need for it to stay nice and high, so that it will burn as many calories as possible even when I am not working out. #2 I am worried about hitting a plateau in my workouts. Swimming is new to me, and while its a great workout, it actually isn't as exhausting to me as running or getting on the elliptical. I guess I am fearful that I will find that I'm not doing enough. #3 The final weigh in will be on a different scale than my incremental weigh ins. It is the same scale that we did our initial weigh in on, but I don't want to get up to the end and weigh in a couple of pounds heavier than what I have been showing throughout the past weeks.

I do have a plan to address some of my above fears. I discussed them with my conscience, and he had some great advice. He recommended that I weigh myself twice a week (probably on my Thursday and Sunday trips to the gym). This will allow me to see if the scale is moving and to adjust my diet and exercise right away if I am becoming stagnant. Since I am no dietitian or personal trainer, then I don't have a scientific formula for weight loss. All that I can do is continue to do what I know makes sense (eat right and exercise) and turn up the volume if I find that I am not getting the results that I need.

I want to re-emphasize that this competition is not the best example of a lifestyle change that I want to be giving. By that I mean, I have a very lofty goal and a very limited time range. I am being more extreme than usual and adopting habits that I know I cannot maintain (for instance the meal replacements). I am of course keeping my health foremost, but in the long run this is NOT the way that I want to live. Long term I want to keep exercising 4 (possibly 5, if I get adjusted to it) times a week and eating meals that I know are light and healthy (prob about 1600-1700 calories a day). Simply maintaining a healthy lifestyle is my long term goal, NOT LOSING WEIGHT!

Ok, off soapbox. My last fear is a little tricky. There really isn't much that I can do about the scale for the final weigh in. I can try to take some of my incremental (unofficial) weigh ins on that scale, which is located at my client. However, I think that I am going to bite the bullet and purchase a digital scale. I think that this will give me a more accurate and consistent reading than I am getting on the manual scale at the gym. I really really dislike spending money on something that I am getting for free, but I want to make sure that the readings that I am getting on a weekly basis are as true as possible. Now, if the scale at the client's gym is just off, then there is nothing that I can do about that. I'll have to give this thing my best, and if I'm lucky, then I will exceed my goals and win by a margin!

**singing ** "whoo hooo.....whoo hooo..."

You probably can't hear the song that I am thinking of in my head, but trust me it is appropriate. I got weighed at the doctor today...169lbs!!!!!!!!! So since my starting weight was 179, than that's a 6% loss in weight. Whoo Hooo!!!!

Now there has been some talk on the team about making weight adjustments. Only half of the ppl on the team took advantage of the option to load up on water prior to the weigh in...obviously giving us a heavier weight by several pounds. Some feel that this is an unfair advantage, which I somewhat agree with. Honestly, I didn't think that the water would give me anymore than a pound or two extra weight. However, apparently it had a significant impact. If I would have known that I would weigh in 8+ pounds heavier than my true weight, then I would have thought twice before chugging all the beverages. I'm not sure what we're going to do. Some ppl are saying that we should reduce the water drinkers' initial weight by a pound or two. I'm kind of for this and kind of against it. On the one hand, there were no rules written in to prevent this, so is it my fault that someone else didn't work it to their advantage? On the other hand, this is a friendly competition, which is not intended to be played unfairly. We'll see what the sentiment is after the this week's results are reported.

Anyway, I'm just going to keep 'making it do what it do, baby'. I've been tracking my calories and activities on www.fitday.com. I have also made working out mandatory, and trust me there were some days when I didn't want to do it. The schedule is swimming 3x/week and yoga 2x/week. As long as that keeps yielding results, then I'll stick with it. Otherwise, I'll make some adjustments.

Ciao!

Why on earth would folks feel inclided to have a gang of pizzas ordered to the office today? I am over here eating my noodle soup just mad at the world.

Ok, so I'm on the Biggest Loser 'Get it right, Get it tight' diet and workout plan, and so far it is going well. It's an adjustment b/c you have to once again get used to not really getting full at each meal. I am pretty much eating until I m no longer hungry and stopping there. Its cool though. If I'm not thinking about food, then for the most part I am not hungry. However, when I want to eat (I'm having cravings so food is on my mind), then it is just a torturous countdown to the next mealtime.

I did all of my grocery shopping yesterday, which was exhausting. However, I think I did a pretty good job of picking a sufficient amount of healthy breakfast, lunch and dinner foods. I've got some chicken breast thawing out now, so I'll make dinner, which should last me for tomorrow as well. I kinda feel victim to the savers deals at the store. I'm going through the aisles like "5 packets of frozen spinach for only $6...of course I want that. In fact, I'll take 10." What can I say? I'm a sucker for a deal. Hopefully, I won't end up wasting anything.

I also hit the gym, both yesterday and today. I swam for about 45 mins each time, and I actually forgot to count how many laps I was doing. I think I do about 10-14 laps (down and back) in a 45 minute period, but I'm not sure. I'll have to count next time. Tomorrow and Wednesday are yoga days, and then it is back to swimming on Thursday. Also I am going to the doctor on Friday morning, and I am sure that she is going to want to weigh me. I'll let you know what is the outcome.

Holy Smokes, Batman!!!!!!

The weigh in went down...

Now let me preface my starting weight w/the following:

**Warning TMI**
1. I haven't gone to the bathroom all day as I have been trying to stock up on water/liquid, so we've got (2-24oz bottles of water, 1-16oz cup of tea, and 1-8oz cup of chocolatte)
2. Its 'that time of the month' so I'm doing a bit more w/water than usual
3. I have to go #2.

Now, that being said, the starting weight was 178.8. WTF!!!! It really really really had better be due to the factors noted above b/c I weighed myself right before Christmas, and I was my standard 170-171lbs. PLUS all of my clothes fit the same. There is no tightness anywhere.

Anyway, I'm starting my program on Saturday as planned, and I will weigh myself again in a week. We'll see what we turn up.

**singing** "Meet me in the gym...it's going down!"

The Biggest Loser competition is afoot! I am soooooooo excited. Here's the deal:

- $100 buy in
- 8 competitors
- 12 weeks
- Winner (person who loses the greatest # 0f pounds) takes 75%; other 25% goes to the person who has gained back the least amount of weight 4 wks later

I am in it to win it folks. Here's my plan/schedule:

Yoga: Monday & Wednesday
Swimming: Saturday & Thursday
Weights: Sunday

Now...I might switch up the workout schedule a bit if I find that I am not getting enough cardio in. I might substitute swimming in on Sunday as well, since I am doing strengthening exercises on Monday & Wednesday. We'll see, but as I think about it now...I'm leaning more towards cardio 3 times a week.

Ok the other BIG point is food (of course). I am going to the grocery store this weekend, and it is going to be a serious haul. I cannot afford to eat any junk food due to cravings, so I will need to have ample healthy meals and snacks. Essentially I need to really commit to packing breakfast and lunch each day and cooking dinner each night. Whew this is gonna be a lot of work. I think that I'll be alright if I stick w/my few staples:

Breakfast - oatmeal/fruit/yogurt/applesauce
Lunch - salad/soup/frozen meal w/in appropriate calorie range/healthy dinner left-overs
Dinner - grilled/baked chicken or fish w/steamed veggies or all veggie plate w/good carbs (brown rice/black beans/etc)
Snacks - fruit/100 calorie packs
Beverages - Lots of water

Now I am going to deviate from my standard philosophy a little bit. Normally, I don't believe in cutting any one item from my diet completely. However, in this case I am going to have to let go of alcohol, soda (which was getting cut anyway), sugary sweets and red meat. It really isn't what I prefer to do, but I do think that it is critical to the competition. This will have to be 3 months of zero splurges or cheats.

So what am I really hoping to get out of this? Well I am primarily hoping to get back into the same mindset that I was in 6 months ago. I want to get back to where making healthy choices and working out are the norm, rather than "me on a good day". I am not really expecting to win the pot (not for lack of determination, but rather sheer lack of available pounds to lose). However, I definitely want to provide some stiff competition for the rest of the folks. Plus, if I do win, then I can use the money to furnish my new wardrobe b/c I will definitely need it.

The formal weigh in is this afternoon. I will let you know the results, but I am expecting to come in at my usual 170-172. If the fruits of my labors pay off, then I think that I could lose btwn 15 and 20 lbs. However, no matter what...if I give it a good effort, stay disciplined and truly do my best, then I'll be happy. The competition kicks off this Saturday am w/my 1st trip to the gym in more than a week. Wish me luck!

Couple of updates...

Well. I'm still large and in charge. Nothing new there. I can definitely see areas in my body where I feel that I have lost muscle tone and put on weight. Nothing crazy, but just something to note. Honestly, I am having a difficult time seeing how I can get back on the bandwagon before the new year. I can probably get in two workouts this week (Mon & Wed yoga). However, I have after work commitments Tues, Thurs, and Fri. The only option is that I could give the early morning workout an option, which lots of ppl swear by. However, that still doesn't solve my problem of needing a swim cap since I am going to try to focus my routine around swimming and yoga. After that I am out of town for a week. I am planning to take my workout clothes with me, so hopefully I can get in some walking or something. We shall see, however, it looks like it's gonna be in the 1st week of Jan that I am back on the 'get it right, get it tight' workout plan.

Here is what is exciting, though. The downfall of my weight loss program has been the team that I am on at work. With a plethora of snacks and foods at the ready, I have really been struggling. Weeeeell, the team decided to start a 'Biggest Loser' challenge. Everyone is going to have to buy in (I think a min of $50), and who ever loses the greatest % of their body weight will get the pot. I am ALL ABOUT IT! I'm not sure when its gonna kick off, but I'm going to try to get back on my normal workout/eating program in Jan, regardless. I'll be focusing on getting healthy, but when the competition kicks off, then I will be focusing on shedding pounds. Isn't that fun? I love my co-workers.

Anyway, that is all for now. I'll let you know how I make out over the weekend.

Oh...P.S. I fit into a size 8 dress this weekend and looked good, and I bought 2 dresses in size 10. Now, let me be completely honest in saying NO WAY could I fit a size 8 or 10 pair of pants. However, b/c dresses tend to flare a bit below the waist, then this size fit me wonderfully. Perfect on both the top and bottom. I was super excited. It is also due to the quality of the clothes...for instance in Guess I couldn't even attempt their Med dresses, only Lg. However, there is a day not so long ago, where a Lg wouldn't have even gone down, so that's an accomplishment. Let's hope that btwn the excitement of my existing success, the 'Just Say No' campaign, and the 'Biggest Loser' competition, I will stay focused and make the right decisions.

:-( Currently, I'm way off the wagon. I've been running high on snacks and low on exercise. Gotta do better.

Hi Happy People!

Well the holidays just passed, and I'm sure that there were some folks out there who over did it just a bit. I originally planned to set some sort of intention for my holiday eating habits so that I would be able to enjoy myself yet stay on my diet. However, then I realized that there are only two times of the year where I really feel good about eating the things that I love (Thanksgiving and Christmas), so I don't really have any desire to alter that. Now b/c my eating habits have improved over time, then I am able to enjoy myself w/o stuffing myself. I did follow the typical guidelines (like eat a light lunch before dinner and take moderate portions). However, I am very pleased to have been able to indulge in a bit if everything that was prepared. I think it's worth the time spent at the gym.

Speaking of the gym, that place was packed this weekend. Folks are in there trying hard to make up for holiday eating. I went on Thursday (Thanksgiving day), Saturday and Sunday, and it was pretty crowded each day. At least I'm in good company these days. I'm trying hard to commit myself to getting to the gym 4 times a week. It is sooooooooooooo hard right now. I am pretty good with getting there Saturday and Sunday. For the most part finding the time to get there 2 days during the week isn't horrible...it's just that btwn fatigue and last minute work events, my evenings seem to disappear. I'm going to try my best to get there Tuesday and Wednesday this week. Busy season should be ending in 3 weeks, so then I'm back to 40 hrs and plenty of time in my evenings. I am hoping that makes all the difference in the world.

I have been doing a good job at taking breakfast and lunch to work :-). Seriously, it is so very helpful in maintaining a healthy diet. I still have to fight the urge to snack on the many goodies that get passed around. However, at least I know that breakfast, lunch and afternoon shack are all healthy and calorie/fat efficient. Plus, I'm saving $$, and this is, of course, the most important part.

So right now my goals are hitting the gym 4 times a week...and I'm thinking of adding in the goal of losing 5 more pounds. Here is my thinking...I think that I look good, but there are definitely some areas that are still large and in charge. However, the most important thing is to control my snacking. Right now I feel like I am eating whatever I want b/c I know that I am going to the gym. I think that the incentive of actually losing weight, which I know requires good diet AND exercise might help me to pull it in. Ultimately, if I lose weight, then that's cool, but so long as I am working out and eating right, then I will be happy.

Finally, I just want to take a moment to thank everyone who has been helping and supporting me. I love you guys, and I definitely wouldn't be where I am without you. Thanks again!

Couple of things...

I went to the gym for the 1st time yesterday. It is fabulous! It really is beautiful inside w/state of the art equipment. I got an hour workout in yesterday (30 mins on the eliptical, and 30 mins of weights and abs). I also took a yoga class this morning, which was pretty good, and I am planning to pack a gym bag for the work week. Hopefully I can get in there a couple of times after work.
Additionally, my conscience has been pushing me to weigh myself. I hadn't b/c I don't own a scale, however...when I went to the gym, I did indeed hop on the scale that was there. I was pleasantly surprised to see that I weighed in at 171 lbs. I know that my diet and exercise haven't been that great over the last 2 months, so I was really happy to see that I haven't completely undone the work that I did over the past year or so. Now I can pick back up where I left off, and keep moving forward.
Ok...so the real reason that I am posting this morning is b/c I have some picks that I want to show you guys. Last night I wore a dress that I haven't worn in about 2 years. You all try to guess which are the before and after pics.

God is soooooooooooooooo good. Let the church say 'yay-men'!

So yesterday I went to a work function and ate sooooo much food. In general, I've been feeling pretty bad. I've been too tired to exercise. I've had no fresh food in the house, so I haven't been eating well. I woke up this morning feeling sooooooooooo depressed. I was really hating myself for having no will power. I just wanted to kick myself for sucking so bad.

In the midst of all of this, I got curious as to when my new gym was gonna open since they were running behind schedule. So I decided to give them a call this morning to find out what the new estimated date is...and guess what...IT WAS YESTERDAY. THE GYM IS OPEN NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You have no idea what this does for my motivation. I mean when I was feeling my worst in a long time, I have a sudden burst of new hope. I am sooooo excited, and I will be there tomorrow morning with bells on. Yayyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok last hooray of the day. This week I wore a suit that I purchased about 3 yrs ago. I had stopped wearing it b/c the pants were too tight, and it was no longer flatering. Well this week it fit perfectly...better than when I 1st bought it. That made me happy.

Got Bike?

Well I do! I picked up my new bike yesterday afternoon. I have to admit that I'm a bit afraid of it. I have never ridden a road bike before, and I haven't been on any kind of bike since I was in college. I'm nervous, but if the weather is permitting, then I'm going to try to take it out for a ride on the lake this Saturday morning. I've got my helmet, padded short, water bottle, and repair kit. It's everything that I can think of for now. I'll post pics of myself with the bike, if I can convince a stranger to take them for me.

I tried another belly dancing dvd last weekend. I looked completely ridiculous again, but it's to be expected. I'm going to stick with it b/c its still pretty fun.

Let's see...what else has been going on? Did I tell you that I entered a competition to be on the cover of a Curves cereal box. I'll post my entry below. It's not the most heartbreaking, sob story ever, but I think that it's pretty good. Wouldn't that be awesome?!?! to see me on your next box of cereal. Anything is possible.

Here it is:

I am not a work in progress. I am a completed masterpiece, and I am so proud to be me.

I recently heard a commercial that stated "I am NOT a work in progress". These words really rang true for me, as I have spent so many years trying to be something better than what I already am. Although I did not grow up as a Double C..."chunky child", I certainly did not have the best eating habits. I can remember making a Burger King whopper with a Strawberry/Vanilla milkshake my afternoon snack in the 8th grade. My careless snacking and unwise food choices stayed with me throughout high school and college. Around my sophomore or junior year in college, I began to take note of the weight that I had put on. My diet was certainly catching up with me. While I spent more time in the gym than before, I hadn't curbed my poor habits, so the results were lack luster at best. As I look back, I can see how my half hearted efforts were slowly chipping away at my self-esteem. I was spending all of my time thinking about my body and what I wanted it to become. Every piece of food that I put into my mouth (both good and bad) was analyzed and agonized over. However my lack of discipline undermined all of my efforts, and kept me in a perpetual state of dismay and disappointment. I was never satisfied with who I was and how I looked, but rather constantly hoping for the day that I would be new and improved. This cycle continued for several years after college, when finally inspiration came into my life. I took ownership of my body and my future, and I finally began to act responsibly. Slowly my eating habits turned around, and I got involved in exercise activities that I enjoy...like yoga and bit of pole dancing (shhh...don't tell anyone). Now when I look in the mirror I feel like I am glowing. While I'm not necessarily the hottest woman on the block, I'm the hottest woman in my eyes. I eat right and exercise because that makes me feel good, not because I'm not good enough 'as is'. I love being me..right now...just the way that I am, and that is an AWESOME feeling!

Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...it's been awhile. My apologies all. I've been working pretty late nights and will continue to (at least through December). I just have not had the time or the energy to post, but I will definitely try to do better.

I can imagine that the sheer fact that I haven't had time to post will tip you off about my diet and exercise. Honestly...this has not been a month of which to be proud. My exercise has been...ok. I've been getting in at least 3 workouts per week, but I am not always getting in four. I did get exercise equipment for my b-day (3, 5, and 8 lb weights, 2 bellydancing dvds and weight lifting gloves), which I have absolutely been putting to good use. However my eating...OUT OF CONTROL!!! The snacking is my major problem. I am making good decisions at meal time. However, in between meals I am not turning down the sweets that are free flowing at the job. Everyday I tell myself that I am going to do better, but so far it just hasn't happened. I'm going to try to go grocery shopping this weekend. Maybe if I have my own healthy snacks already with me, then I can just eat that when I have the urge to eat, rather than the sugary/fattening snacks. That is supposed to help, but ultimately it will have to come down to me being more disciplined. Unfortunately, discipline is not one of my strong points.

On a happier note, I believe that my gym is supposed to open at the end of this month. The Oct 1st date got pushed back to Nov 1st, so lets cross our fingers that they stick to that. I hope to be able to head there directly from work at least 2 days a week. I figure that if I can get there twice a week after work and once on the weekends, then I only need to get in one or two more workouts at home on my own. Until it open, I have been doing what I call 'zone training'. Basically, since I have only had energy (and time) for about 10-15 mins of exercise in the evenings, then I use my weights to only work 1 area of my body. I rotate between abs, arms, and legs each day. I do 4 exercises on the 'zone of the day', which works the muscle, but is fairly quick. I know it isn't much, but when I am getting in at 8:45 or 9pm and need to be in bed by 10pm...it really is all that I have to spare. Plus, at this point I am so tired that I fear I would just completely opt out of working out when I'm trying to get in 30 mins or an hour. This will have to do until my schedule lets up. I can do my full workouts on Fri, Sat and Sun.

Guess what else...I BOUGHT A BIKE! Ok, it isn't the greatest time of the year to make the purchase since the weather is changing, but I had really been wanting to try cycling. It's more gentle on the knees, and it generally seems enjoyable. Plus living 5 mins from the lakefront, I should be taking advantage of my resources. Plus my conscience really seems to enjoy it, and I wanna be able to share that with him (I'm kinda stalkerish like that). Anyway, it should be getting delivered soon. Check it out!

On my way to a 5K walk, and I can't wait!!!!!!!!!! I've got my Ipod ready, and it's gonna be great. Wish me luck!

Oh and cheer me on for lots of vegetarian meals. I've been racking them up.

SIZE 12 PANTS....I PURCHASED THEM!!!!!!!!!

Ok, let me put this into perspective for you all. I have been rocking a size 14 since about the 9th grade. I wasn't exclusively in 14's at the time, but there were definitely a pair or two in the closet. I was exclusively in 14's by college. So going to the store and slipping into a pair of size 12's that weren't snug in any way was AWESOME!!!! Talk about great motivation to keep exercising and eating right. As I am faced with craving after craving I keep replaying the moment that I put those slacks on to keep me on the straight and narrow. ** BIG SMILE**

Now that isn't to say that I don't still have a lot of work to do to get my habits back in line. I had a rendezvous with my conscience this weekend, and he let me know that I was looking a bit plumper than when we last got together. I think that I have mostly lost muscle tone. My workouts currently consist of walking 3 miles 1 or 2 times a week, my 30 min workout dvd 1 or 2 times a week and yoga maybe once a week. It just doesn't stack up against the hour of yoga (twice a week), treadmill (once or twice a week), elliptical machine (once or twice a week), plus the regular ab workouts that I was previously getting. I know from my last doctor's visit that my weight hasn't changed, but I imagine that I am not as toned or as fit as I previously was.

Sooooooo all of that to say that I definitely have to step my game up. Now...to speak to that point...I was once told that I need to make exercise non-negotiable. THIS IS SO TRUE! Last week I committed to working out everyday between Monday and Friday, and it worked wonderfully. It was almost easy. I mean I found this odd random energy to get the workout in b/c I knew that I had to. I'm now trying to make this my new mantra. I am going to set my workout days at the beginning of each week, and then just make those non-negotiable. Hopefully this will be a new exercise secret weapon. This week I am set for Tues, Wed (already done), Thurs and Sat. I'll re-start again on Sunday.

Lets see...I have updates.

I guess the most important update is that I got my cholesterol results back from the doctor, and it is still borderline high. The doc said it wasn't outrageous, so she's not concerned about it. However, I clearly still have work to do. I think that I was doing pretty well with my diet when I was with my conscience. Since I've been home I haven't been bad, but I also haven't been as devout as I was before. My red meat intake (particularly pork) was a bit higher as I was taking advantage of bar-b-que season. This is no good. I definitely need to check myself on this front. Honestly, I hope that was the main issue. I haven't been eating shellfish much (maybe twice in the last two months) b/c I just can't afford it. I know that dairy is supposed to be high in cholesterol, but I'm really not ready to give it up yet. I don't think that I will have another screening for at least another 6 months, so I'm just gonna have to try and be more diligent. Hopefully the next test will come out better b/c if it doesn't then I don't really know what to do next.

Ok what else? Lets see...last week sucked for working out. I got sick on Wednesday and had wedding stuff (not mine) on Thurs and Fri. I feel so blah. Every time that I look in the mirror or at myself I see the pounds piling on. Its not a good feeling. I started out this week on a good note though...I did 3 miles at the park and it feels wonderful. My conscience is coming to visit this weekend, so I am committed to getting in at least 30 mins every day until he arrives. That would be 6 workouts for the week, which would be awesome. Maybe he'll even be up for doing some walking...or other exercises...with me when he arrives.

Speaking of other exercises, last weekend I took a pole dancing class. Can I just recommend this to every woman on the planet. Not only was it super liberating, it was actually a great workout. I was sore for the next two days. Then I decided to put on the music at my home and practice some of my moves...again I was sore for the next several days. It is an absolutely awesome workout. I know that Carmen Electra and a few others have been offering 'strip tease' classes, which I honestly laughed at. However, I think that I'm going to continue to give this a try. It is especially perfect for days when I'm not motivated to do a 'regular' workout. I can usually always convince myself to get up and shake my groove thing. This might be the best thing since my discovery of yoga!

I CANNOT WAIT FOR THIS SUMMER TO BE OVER!

Seriously, the weekend bar-b-ques are killing my diet. Ok ok I can't really blame the bar-b-ques, I must accept the blame for how I am behaving at them. How is that, you ask? EATING EVERYTHING IN SIGHT. :-( :-( I know, I'm ashamed. I try to just make one reasonable plate, but then as I am there for hours upon hours and more and more food continues to be prepared, well then...I find myself wandering my way back to the table. Plus...you know that I have a weakness for desserts, well there are always so many wonderful options. Ugh! Its disgusting. The good news is that I really only have about 2 or 3 more weekends with activities planned. After that, I'll be on my own for food, which means cereal and salads b/c lately I haven't much felt like cooking.

I have still been getting in 3 workouts per week, but clearly that is below the four minimum that I need to be at. I've been lucky in that my weight hasn't changed. I was at the doctor last Friday, and I weighed in at my same 170lbs. YAY! However, if I don't get my eating under control, then I won't be at this weight for long.

Ok, enough pouting. I am deeply engrossed in the world of the 100 calorie pack. They have sooooo many options these days, and they are perfect. I take them to work for a light afternoon snack, and I eat them at home when I'm having a craving. I love them! Klondike even has 100 calorie ice cream sandwiches...those are awesome. Recently I spied an add for a 100 calorie hostess cupcake. I couldn't find them in the grocery store today, but when I do...trust me...its going down. I also picked up some fruit bars...under 100 calories a piece. They aren't as substantial as the ice cream bars, but they are a good snack when I feel like I just need to be eating.

Let's see...that's all that's really going on with me these days. I don't really feel any kind of way right now. I'm too tired to really be motivated, but I'm also pleased that I haven't fallen completely off the wagon. Its kinda like I'm just waiting to get back on track. That probably doesn't make any sense, but it is what it is. Sorry to be a bore, but I'll let you know what's up with my cholesterol as soon as I hear back from my doctor, and I'll keep you updated on any diet/exercise solutions that I discover.

Quick update: I have been busy busy busy busy lately. Between work and personal commitments I have barely had any time for myself these past few weeks. I have averaged 3 work outs per week for the last 3 weeks. On the one hand, I am glad to be getting even that much time in. On the other hand, clearly I am falling short of the goal. Le sigh, I guess there is not much left to do but try harder.

Unfortunately I injured my knee doing yoga this week. I have it in a brace, but I'll probably be reduced to doing yoga and light walking for the next week or so. I think that I can also do my Shape mag strength training workout. It does require knee strength and proper knee alignment to execute all of the lunges, but as long as it isn't a lot of jumping around, I think that I can do it.

As for eating, I've had some hits and some misses. I think that I am doing pretty well with my breakfast and lunches. I 've been getting my oatmeal or yogurt for breakfast and salads or other grilled entrees for lunch. However, I think that my afternoon/evening snacking has been more than I would like. I tend to get hungry again at 3 or 4 in the afternoon, so I have a snack at that time. However, since I don't leave work until 6 or 6:30, then I am hungry for another snack when I get home before or while dinner is being prepared. My early snack is 100 calories, but I feel that my evening snack is probably closer to 200 or 300 calories, so I am going over my limit there. I plan to hit the grocery store this weekend where I can get more 100 calorie packs and fresh fruit. Hopefully that will keep me closer to my target with the additional snacks. Also, I'm not 100% sure about my dinner choices. I found out that my client servers free dinner after 5:30, so sometimes I just eat at work. It tends to be healthy (grilled chicken fajitas or veggie lasagna), but probably not as low cal/low fat as if I would have cooked for myself. The thing is, the free dinners are so tempting b/c #1 they are free, #2 the allow me to have more time in my evening, and #3 they are ready at right about the time that I am hungry for my 2nd snack. I eat dinner at work and then don't really eat anything else (except maybe a 100 calorie WW ice cream sandwich) for the rest of the evening. I think that I am going to limit my eating at work to dinners that I feel are as healthy as the ones that I would have normally prepared. This will work for the next few weeks. Once I begin working my 55 hr weeks, then I will probably eat at work every night b/c of time constraints. In those cases, I am going to have to work on portion size.

Where I feel like I am having the most trouble is that I have been allowing myself some little indulgences that I fear could add up on me. I've been to a lot of social events this week, so I've been eating desserts that I should be turning down. I also have been accepting little pieces of candy, etc. that co-workers bring to work and offer the team. I'm going to have to remember my commitment to avoiding those types of temptation. I think that they could lead to some subtle weight gain that could sneak up on me.

Ok, that's all I have for right now. I'll try to get back on this weekend w/some of food favs!

Ok, this week was not so bad at all.

I got in my 4 workouts for the week

- Wed: Cranked up the stereo and shook my booty for an hour
-Thurs: Walked 3 miles
-Fri: Walked 2 miles
- Sat: 1 hr of Yoga

I also stayed on the diet (though I admit to an ice cream and cookie slip on Fri). I can assure you, the ice cream in my home has been escorted to the garbage. I also cooked something of which I am proud. It was a pasta salad made with wheat pasta (surprisingly yummy), fresh broccoli, red peppers, and yellow peppers, and grilled chicken. I even made the dressing for it, by mixing in olive oil, lemon and seasonings. It was wonderful. Hopefully, the next time that I duplicate it, then it will be just as good.

So...let's spice things up a bit. What better reason to eat right and stay in shape than good sex!!! Here is a great article w/some tips for foods to get you going in the sack. Enjoy!

Steamier Sex by Sue Gilbert

Too often, the typical romantic meal consists of lots of wine and a thick juicy steak, followed by a rich chocolate dessert — the perfect recipe for sleep, not sex. The best way to keep those libidos lit is to keep it light. By following the low-fat, low-cholesterol Steamier Sex Diet and getting plenty of exercise (to improve overall health — as well as blood flow to the sex organs), you and your mate can enjoy a healthy sex life for many years to come.

Here's how this diet can help:
• If it's good for your overall health, it's good for sex, too. That's why this diet includes low-fat, well-balanced food choices that will keep you feeling spry.
• Aphrodite was said to have been born from the sea, so many types of seafood have reputations as aphrodisiacs. This food plan includes tasty seafood options sure to stir up the senses.
• Spices such as curry, cumin and cayenne warm the body. This diet includes entrees with enough spice to heat things up.
Start eating the breakfasts, lunches and dinners that will steam up your sex life.

BREAKFAST
Option One:
Strawberries dipped in powdered sugar
Fresh squeezed orange juice
Omelets
Latte

Option Two:
Grapefruit halves topped with maraschino cherry
Smoked salmon on toasted bagels with fat-free cream cheese, red onion and lettuce
Fresh brewed coffee

Option Three:
Glorious pancakes
Fresh berries
Grapefruit juice
Cappuccinos

LUNCH
Option One:
Strawberry passion soup
Assorted cheeses with whole grain crackers
Asparagus salad with citrus vinaigrette
Fresh pears

Option Two:
Salad nicoise
Tuscan grilled garlic bread
Fat-free chocolate fudge brownies

Option Three:
French bread pizza
Assorted olives
Fresh sliced apples with nuts and dried fruits

DINNER
Option One:
Oyster bienvielle
Mixed green salad
Crusty sourdough bread
Poached pears

Option Two:
Chicken sauteed with artichokes
Warm parmesan bread sticks
Green salad
Fresh berries dipped in chocolate

Option Three:
Luscious lobster tail
Spinach salad
Warm dinner rolls
Low-fat chocolate flan

Healthy Dos and Don'ts
Do:• Serve food that is delicious, different and perhaps a bit rare.• Dish up foods reputed to be aphrodisiacs, such as artichokes, oysters, strawberries and chocolate.

Don't:• Eat overly fatty foods, especially on the big night. Fat takes a long time to digest, all the while diverting blood flow to the digestive system and away from the reproductive system.• Drink too much alcohol. A little can loosen inhibitions, but too much can become a sedative.

Sorry for being delinquent on posting guys. My 1st week adjusting to being home has been hectic.

Let's see...how about an update. I did pretty well last week. I only got in 3 work outs, but given my fatigue and limited time, I was pretty pleased with myself. I also did a decent job with my food. I was mainly concerned with over eating once I was back in the company of co-workers. Also I had a house guest this week, and I was worried about over eating then as well. However during lunch I have stuck with soup, salad, and turkey sandwiches, and I have shown pretty good restraint with my house guest. Two pints of ice cream were brought into my house, which I have not indulged in. Those will be heading to the garbage tomorrow. My two slip ups were probably over eating a bit at a fondue night w/some friends as well as a fried shrimp dinner that I had last Monday. Other than that I have pretty much been eating cereal or other grilled items for dinner.

I did do some cooking this week. Nothing major though. I made an egg-white omelet with cheese and Canadian bacon. I also made a grilled turkey and cheese sandwich, and last night I cooked steamed broccoli (fresh), steamed rice, and grilled chicken. Not too bad for just getting started. My grocery basket was filled with plenty of fresh produce, so I feel positive that I will be able to branch out more.

As for working out...if I can get in some time this evening, then I feel positive that I can make my 4 workouts for the week. It will be my house guest's last night in town, though, so I'm not sure what will be on the agenda. I also learned about a new exercise opportunity at my church. They are offering 6 weeks (3 sessions/week) of boot-camp classes, led by 2 personal trainers for $60. I am very interested in doing it. My only concern is that the classes begin at 6:30pm. It takes me at least an hour (sometimes an hour and a half) to get home, so I'd have to leave work right at 5pm. Now my job is one in which ppl tend to work later, so I am concerned that this might not go over well. I do want to do the program though b/c I anticipate that the trainers will really push us. Though I may be screaming "Noooooo!" then, I think that I will regret it later. I have a week to decide, so we shall see.

Hmmm, that's all that I can think of right now. I did hear on the news this morning of a study that links heavy meat and sugar consumption to breast cancer, so I might try to find that and post it later. Also...it might be time for another challenge. Currently I am weighing in at 170lbs. Now...it will be about 3 months b4 I can access a scale at the gym for another weigh in. I think that I should have a goal for that weigh in. I'm not sure yet if it should be to successfully maintain my weight over the next 3 months, or if I should push for at least a 5lb weight loss. Any thoughts/suggestions?

Soooooo...a new chapter in my weightloss journey begins.

Well, as you may have heard, I have been living outside of my home city for a little over a year now. The same is true for my conscience. We have both been living in Houston, though this is not where we permanently reside. As the time has come for us to each return to our respective cities, I will be continuing my weight loss journey alone...or rather supported from afar.

I am a bit apprehensive about this, though there are some points that I am excited about. Of course my major fear is that I will slip back into my old eating habits. It is still a daily struggle for me to make wise food choices and work out. Though I have been way more self-motivated in the coming months, it has still be with his constant support that I have persevered. My major challenges will be eating well amongst teammates who may not be as concerned about good health as I am, as well as exercising regularly given that I will be working longer hours.

Thus far, I have signed up to join LA Fitness. The particular location that I joined doesn't open until October 1st. Until then I will be supplementing my workout by utilizing my 2 cardio exercise tapes (I am thinking about getting a 3rd belly dancing tape) as well as walking regularly to take advantage of the great summer weather. I will also be continuing my regular yoga practice for strength training. I have even found a great website, www.yogatoday.com, that provides free daily yoga workouts.

The one thing that I am looking forward to is cooking. Since I have been travelling for work, then I have continued to eat out daily. However, now that I will be eating on my own dime, then I am really looking forward to preparing some tasty, healthy meals for myself. Given my hours, I realize that I won't be able to cook every night, esp. if I want to find time to work out. However, I hope to make a home cooked meal at least twice a week (Mon - Fri) and then also on Sat & Sun. In order to commemorate the rejuvenation of my cooking journey, below are three recipes that I can't wait to use. I am always wanting to take an afternoon/early evening snack with me to work. This is cheaper and healthier than buying something out of a vending machine. However making something would be even better. I saw these three recipes on the Food Network's Good Eats. The can also be found on the show's website here: http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/show_ea/episode/0,,FOOD_9956_38665,00.html.

Brown Rice Crispy Bar:
3 ounces puffed brown rice, approximately 6 cups 3 tablespoons flax seed oil, plus extra for the pan 1 tablespoon orange blossom honey 7 ounces mini marshmallows, approximately 4 cups 3 ounces toasted slivered almonds, approximately 3/4 cup 1 1/2 ounces coarsely chopped dried cranberries, approximately 1/3 cup 1 1/2 ounces coarsely chopped dried cherries, approximately 1/3 cup 1-ounce dried blueberries, approximately 1/3 cup

Lightly coat the inside of a 13 by 9 by 2-inch metal pan with oil and set aside. Preheat the oven to 425 degrees F. Spread the brown puffed rice evenly on a sheet pan. Toast in the oven for 4 minutes, stirring occasionally. While the rice is toasting, prepare the marshmallow mixture. Place the oil, honey, and marshmallows in a large mixing bowl set over a pot of gently simmering water. Stir until the marshmallows are melted, approximately 4 to 5 minutes. Once the marshmallows are melted, quickly add the toasted brown rice, almonds, and fruit and stir to combine. Coat your hands or a spatula with oil and spread the mixture evenly into the pan. Once the mixture has cooled completely, cut into squares and store in an airtight container for 1 to 2 days.

Granola Bar:
8 ounces old-fashioned rolled oats, approximately 2 cups 1 1/2 ounces raw sunflower seeds, approximately 1/2 cup 3 ounces sliced almonds, approximately 1 cup 1 1/2 ounces wheat germ, approximately 1/2 cup 6 ounces honey, approximately 1/2 cup 1 3/4 ounces dark brown sugar, approximately 1/4 cup packed 1-ounce unsalted butter, plus extra for pan 2 teaspoons vanilla extract 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt 6 1/2 ounces chopped dried fruit, any combination of apricots, cherries or blueberries

Butter a 9 by 9-inch glass baking dish and set aside. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Spread the oats, sunflower seeds, almonds, and wheat germ onto a half-sheet pan. Place in the oven and toast for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. In the meantime, combine the honey, brown sugar, butter, extract and salt in a medium saucepan and place over medium heat. Cook until the brown sugar has completely dissolved. Once the oat mixture is done, remove it from the oven and reduce the heat to 300 degrees F. Immediately add the oat mixture to the liquid mixture, add the dried fruit, and stir to combine. Turn mixture out into the prepared baking dish and press down, evenly distributing the mixture in the dish and place in the oven to bake for 25 minutes. Remove from the oven and allow to cool completely. Cut into squares and store in an airtight container for up to a week.

Protein Bar:
4 ounces soy protein powder, approximately 1 cup 2 1/4 ounces oat bran, approximately 1/2 cup 2 3/4 ounces whole-wheat flour, approximately 1/2 cup 3/4-ounce wheat germ, approximately 1/4 cup 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt 3 ounces raisins, approximately 1/2 cup 2 1/2 ounces dried cherries, approximately 1/2 cup 3 ounces dried blueberries, approximately 1/2 cup 2 1/2 ounces dried apricots, approximately 1/2 cup 1 (12.3-ounce) package soft silken tofu 1/2 cup unfiltered apple juice 4 ounces dark brown sugar, approximately 1/2 cup packed 2 large whole eggs, beaten 2/3 cup natural peanut butter Canola oil, for pan

Line the bottom of a 13 by 9-inch glass baking dish with parchment paper and lightly coat with canola oil. Set aside. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. In a large mixing bowl, combine the protein powder, oat bran, wheat flour, wheat germ, and salt. Set aside. Coarsely chop the raisins, dried cherries, blueberries and apricots and place in a small bowl and set aside. In a third mixing bowl, whisk the tofu until smooth. Add the apple juice, brown sugar, eggs, and peanut butter, 1 at a time, and whisk to combine after each addition. Add this to the protein powder mixture and stir well to combine. Fold in the dried fruit. Spread evenly in the prepared baking dish and bake in the oven for 35 minutes or until the internal temperature reaches 205 degrees F. Remove from the oven and cool completely before cutting into squares. Cut into squares and store in an airtight container for up to a week.

Don't those sound Yum?! I know its kinda easing my way into cooking, but I gotta start some where. I think that I'll try posting one new recipe per week. We'll see.

Anyway, I'm still weighing in at 170 lbs. My eating was atrocious last week (I was at a convention), but I exercised 5 days. I am not sure how this week will go as there are a lot of good bye celebrations to come. However, I am going to do my best to get in a couple of workouts, and I am focused on starting out strong back at home. Everyone wish me luck and success as I push through this next chapter.

Let's talk about the exercising that didn't happen. I only got in 3 workouts last week (those that I listed below). I wasn't really planning to work out Thursday and Friday since I had a big test on Saturday morning. I wanted to get as prepared for it as possible. However, I did think that I would squeeze in at least a 45 min yoga session on Saturday afternoon. Well my day went like this. Exam from 7:30 - 12:30; Lunch & errands from 1 - 3:30; Taking down two-strand twists from 4 - 10. Good Lord! I know that I had a lot of work ahead of me with taking down the twists, but I had no idea that it would take the time that it took. When I stopped on Saturday night, I wasn't even done...I could simply go no farther. So needless to say working out on Sat was a wash. I was kinda miffed b/c I wanted to go to Yoga and Pilates on Sunday morning. However, I of course needed to finish taking my hair down instead. That took me until about 1 pm...cool, right? WRONG. I thought that I had thoroughly detangle my roots, which I had, but I didn't account for all of the shed hair that was still hanging out amongst the strands. Let me tell you. As soon as water hit my hair I had knots and tangles like you wouldn't believe. I mean there was hair coming out by the handful. It took me another 2 hours to be able to comb through the masses. As I stood looking at the huge pile of lost hair in the sink...suffice it to say I was a bit emotionally exhausted. I copped out and took up residence on the couch for the rest of the day.

So now we are in a new week and attempting to get a fresh start. I am going to head to yoga tonight and plan for workouts Mon, Tues, Thurs, and Sat. Also, I plan to hit the grocery store on Tues, so that should be great to revitalize my diet. I need to get fresh fruit, 100 calorie packs, and yogurt. I think that I'm going to try and weigh in at the gym this week, so I'll let you guys know what's going on.

Soooo...one week later, and I am finally settled back into my diet and exercise routine...sort of. I didn't have too much trouble getting back on my proper eating plan. Mostly it was the exercising that I was struggling with. I tell ya, no matter how long you have been working out, it is hard as hell to get back into the swing of things after a break. It was weird b/c my body felt so icky when I wasn't exercising. I felt like the pounds were piling back on, and I didn't care for that. However, I still lacked the motivation to hop onto the elliptical machine. Luckily, Saturday felt like a good day for a fresh start. I walked 3 miles at a local track near my house. Then on Sunday I did a 30 min cardio workout video, and yesterday I took a 1 hour yoga class. I am so sore that I can barely walk right now. It hurts so good!

Now, I qualified my original statement with "kinda" b/c I am also trying to study for a big test that I am taking this Saturday. I really wanted to go hard this week and study each night for 3 - 4 hours. However, doing that definitely cuts out exercising. Yesterday I ran 3 errands before yoga, and then picked up dinner after yoga. By the time that I came home, showered and ate it was 10:30, and I was exhausted. No studying went down. Today I am planning to get in a 30 min work out video at home, and then study for the remainder of the evening. That's pretty good. I wanted to get to another yoga class tomorrow, but with the timing...I just don't think its gonna happen. At least it's only for one week, though. No real complaints here.

Let's talk about body image, losing weight, and how much is too much. I recently told my conscience that I was gonna participate in an online picture weight loss challenge. You post pics of yourself each week for 12 weeks wearing the same clothes to document your weight loss. My goal was gonna be 20lbs, bringing me down to 150lbs. When I said this, he looked genuinely confused as to where I was going to find another 20 lbs of fat to lose. I mean...of course we don't want to sacrifice too much more of the booty...so where else is there? Honestly, I'm not sure what my goal weight/size is anymore. On the one hand, I can definitely see my weight loss in my face, arms, torso, and some parts of my legs. On the other hand, I'm not definitely a pants size smaller. Most of my current pairs of pants are too big, but when I go to the store it isn't a guarantee that I can get into a size 12 (one size smaller than my previous size). It's weird...like clearly I have lost weight, but sometimes I still feel big.

I think that I have two abstract goals. #1 I'd like to thin out and tone up my thighs and my stomach. All other areas..I'm good w/just focusing on toning. #2 I don't ever want to be at 190lbs+ ever again. This means that should I ever have kids (God willing) and gain the requisite 20 - 30lbs, then I want to top out at around 180lbs. This would keep me near to a healthy weight for my height and at a do-able weight for getting back into shape. Of course for that to happen, I'd have to be starting out around 150 - 160lbs. *le sigh* I don't know. I definitely don't want to be focused on weight loss forever. I'd much rather get to a place where I can just work on maintaining a healthy weight and lifestyle. I guess I am just going to stick with my plan to work out a min of 4 times per week and eat right. If that means that I lose more weight, then so be it. If not, then I am fine with that as well. If I opt to step my game up a bit in order to better accomplish my 1st goal, then I'll do that as well.

Pics...as promised!

On the top: here is a pic of me at an Alicia Keyes concert sometime in 2005. This was definitely my heaviest.

On the bottom: here I am in getting ready to go out for a night on the town. Note the changes in the face/cheeks.

On the top: here I am in Miami in May of 2005. I thought I looked decent at the time, but in retrospect...I was def. chunky.

On the bottom: here I am at a waterfall this past week in PR. Note the 'slimmerness' in the arms, legs, and waist.

I really wanted to be able to show here the progress that I have made. This is was 200 to 170 lbs looks like on a 5'11'' woman. However, note that 170 lbs is still not a size 2. There is a fullness there, and therefore an everyday challenge to maintain my wait/habits and remain healthy.

Well...I'm back from Puerto Rico, and it was F.A.B.O!!!!!!!! It was an absolutely awesome, beautiful time.

Let's see...I didn't have a great week for exercise the week before I left. I got in 30 mins of cardio and 2 hours of yoga for the entire week. It was a far cry from the 3 cardio sessions and 2 yoga sessions that I wanted to get in. I just got overwhelmed and fatigued with all of the stuff necessary to complete before Saturday morning. However, I did stick to my diet, and I think that I successfully lost a pound or two before I left. Unfortunately, since I didn't really get into the gym like I wanted to, then I also didn't get on the scale like I wanted to, so I'm not 100% sure what the final weight was.

While on vacation, I ate to my heart's content. It's kinda my 1 time per year to eat what I want, so I definitely enjoyed myself. I also go in a bit of exercise. On Sunday my conscience and I did some hiking in El Yunque rain forest. The total hike was about 2 miles, and much of it was uphill. We also did a walking tour of the cities of Old San Juan and Ponce. By the time that we reached the end of the week, my legs and calves were definitely exhausted. Also on Wednesday we hit the gym at the hotel for 30 mins of cardio and 30 mins of weights. Now that I am home in ATL, I hopped on the scale (well actually 2 of them) and weighed in at 170lbs. Yay!!! Now, to be fair and honest, I think that some of the weight loss is due to a loss in muscle mass. As I stated, the exercise has been a little weak, and the past week of eating has definitely been 'off the chain'. I want to make sure that I am truly focusing on doing the right things to lose weight. Nevertheless, I am ecstatic to be just a little bit lighter on my feet. Its hard to believe that just about a year ago I was 30 lbs heavier.

So I was talking to my mom yesterday, and she was asking me what I have specifically done to lose the weight. I decided to take a moment here to just go over that b/c I want it to be clear that there is no special secret or trick to weight loss. It is simply consistent dedication and commitment to making the right choices as well as honesty with myself about those decisions that I am making.

Each time that I eat, I really try to think about what it is that I am eating. While I don't keep food journals, I would recommend them if you find that you eat mindlessly or simply deny the reality of what you are eating. When I make a food choice I try to be conscious of making a good choice...not always the BEST choice (for instance I might have stir-fry chicken or a bar-b-que chicken sandwich. it's not as great as a salad or grilled chicken and broccoli, but it is def. better than fried chicken or hamburgers), but still a pretty good choice. I don't completely deny myself anything, but I try to cut back on the frequency of certain items to levels that I can live with long term. These things are sugar/snacks/ice cream/etc (once/month), red meat (once per month...even less for pork), other meats (once per day...perhaps twice), refined flour (pasta/white breads - 2 or 3 times per week for bread and once or twice per month for pasta), friend foods (once per month), carbonated drinks (diet soda - 2 or 3 times per week), alcohol (weekends), and items containing butter/heavy cream/heavy oil (2 or 3 times per week). Now these are definitely averages. There may be a week or a month where I blow one or all of these totals right out of the water, but this is where I am on an average month. Yes, I slip up, and yes I have cheats. However, it is again so important to be honest with yourself. I try to recognize and acknowledge those, so that I can avoid them in the future. If you are not able to do that, then you are kinda sabotaging yourself from the start.

Now exercise. Basically you have to find something that you enjoy (or at least can tolerate) and then do it consistently (at least 4 times per week). For me, I enjoy yoga. It is great for building muscle as well as for increasing flexibility, which is important to me. I also don't mind using the free weights or weight machines when I am just working out at the gym. I can tolerate doing 30 mins on the elliptical, or 30 mins walking uphill on the treadmill, or 1 hr dancing in front of the mirror, or even a 30 min work out video. I am still looking for a form of cardio that I really enjoy, so I hope to try belly dancing or cardio kickboxing. Whatever it is, you have to begin with doing it consistently. I try to workout even when I don't feel like it, but like everyone else, there are plenty of times where I lose that battle. Right now 4 days per week works well for me b/c I have room for feeling tired/busy/lazy the other 3 days per week. If you stall in your weight loss, then you gotta switch up the routine and get your body challenged once more.

Most importantly, it is key to maintain diet and exercise SIMULTANEOUSLY. Without the two efforts working in combination, I simply maintain my weight, but I don't lose any.

That is all...hope it helps.

Final Stretch

Soooooo...here I am in the final stretch of my 'get right for Puerto Rico' work out plan. This is the final diet and exercise week. I am already starting off in a bit of a deficit. I had a minor stomach flu/situation yesterday, so I spent a good portion of the day in bed...rather than working out. As such, I've already missed out on one cardio workout that I really wanted to get in.

However, the diet portion is going well. Yesterday I had a smoothie that I purchased at the airport and a banana (Note: the banana is not a part of the diet, but the smoothie was pre-bottled rather than fresh. It turned out to be more like juice.) for breakfast. I attempted a salad for lunch, but my stomach wasn't feeling it, so I ended up skipping my normal lunch. Instead I had a bowl of black bean soup (240 calories & 1 g of fat) later when I was feeling better. I ended the day with a serving of veggies, white rice, and 1 1/2 skewers of grilled chicken. Today, I've had a fresh smoothie for breakfast, and a grilled chicken salad for lunch. I have Lays Baked potato chips (130 calories, 1.5 g of fat) for my late afternoon snack. I'm not sure what dinner will be yet, but I am planning to keep it light w/grilled fish or another salad.

I have yoga (with a pretty tough instructor) scheduled for this evening. I am debating trying to squeeze out 30 mins of cardio either before or after yoga. Ideally before is best b/c I prefer to stay relaxed and stretched after yoga. However, it also sucks to be the stinky girl in class. We'll see. Either way, tomorrow I am planning to do a work out tape (30 mis or an hour), and then get in 30 mins of cardio + 30 mins of strength on Wed, and 45 mins - 1 hr of yoga on Fri. That's the best that I can do.

Damnit! I'd better be more than pleased with what I see in the mirror next week!

Anywho, I'm going to pop on the scale at the gym tonight. I'm not sure if I'll be able to get back on before I head out of town, so I may not know for sure what my 'final' weight is before hitting the beach. However, I will report back the weight as of today, and then I'll post pics when I get back.

Oh, before I go...I must cop to some minor cheats from last week. I did have a chocolate covered strawberry AND 1 and 1/2 cookies at a brunch that I was at on Saturday. BUT BUT BUT I did not have the ice cream bar, nor the peanut M&Ms that were offered at the trainings and meetings that I attended on Thurs & Fri, which I DEFINITELY wanted to eat. I don't think that little slip will come back to haunt me, but I do want to keep it honest ;-)

Quick update:

I've had some great work outs this week.

Sun - 1 hr Pilates & 1 hr Yoga
Mon - 1 hr Yoga
Tues - 30 mins Elliptical Machine

I'm planning to get in another 45 mins of yoga on Thursday evening, and then I probably won't be back in the gym until Sunday. I'm traveling and entertaining guests this weekend, so that that is cutting into my schedule. However, I am still at 4 workouts per week.

I am feeling really slim and strong. Yoga kicked my butt this weekend, but I feel really good about myself after persevering. I've also been eating right...and next week I begin my diet. It's pretty basic. Smoothie for breakfast, salad for lunch, 100 calorie snack in the early evening (I'll need to pick some up at the grocery store when I get back), sensible dinner (grilled chicken/fish/salad). Not too terrible...just a small restriction in calories to help flatten out my stomach. I also want to be diligent w/my work outs. I won't be able to work out on Thursday of next week, but if I get Sun, Mon, Tues, Wed, and Fri...then I should be in great shape for Puerto Rico!!!!

I'll do a weigh in before I depart next week. When I hopped on the scale this past week, I came in at 177. I'm not sure if my previous 175 was just a fluke or if I have put on 2 add'l pounds. However, I feel really great about myself. I've been diligently working out and eating right, and I love the way that my body looks...so no complaints here.

Yay for Veggies!

So I have been saying that I want to up the fruits and veggies in my life and down the meats. I'm not looking to become a vegetarian at this time, but I do want to get down to no more than one serving of meat per day to start. This week I have been much more pro-active about choosing meatless options. I had a wonderful egg white omelet filled with green peppers, tomatoes, onions, and mushrooms for dinner the other day, and I had a falafel (chickpeas) pita for lunch. I've also been getting my usual oatmeal or yogurt in for breakfast. Since I've left the red meats alone, then I never really eat meat for breakfast anyway. When I do eat meat, then I try to be conscious to select meat dishes with plenty of veggies, like the chicken stir-fry that I had for dinner earlier this week.

However, I am realizing that in many instances I am simply cutting the meat w/o upping the veggies. Since it is the health benefits associated with lots of fruits and veggies that I am looking for, then I want to be careful not to get too much into the habit of eating starches and carbs as my alternate. According to the Harvard School of Public Health we should be eating as much as 13 servings of fruits/veggies per day (4 1/2 cups). I think that I am quite a ways away from that right now. That's alright though. At least I am now armed with the information necessary to make an improvement. I'm going to head out to Boston Market and pick up a veggie plate for lunch today.

Below is a great article on some of the many health benefits of eating sufficient amounts of fruits and veggies. It addresses some of my specific concerns like high cholesterol, so I'm going to keep it in mind when making future food selections. http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/fruits.html

As for working out, I've completed 3 great workouts this week, and I am on target to get 5 in (total) by Saturday.

Tues - 30 mins Elliptical + 30 mins strength training
Wed - 45 mins Yoga
Thurs - 30 mins cardio/aerobics
Fri - 30 mins Elliptical + 30 mins strength training
Sat - 1 hr Pilates + 1 hr Yoga

Go Bikini Body!